From the Mixed Up Files of ME!

He's Here!!!

2008-12-20T19:41:00.000-08:00

My sister had her baby FINALLY!!

No pictures yet . . . :(

5:13 p.m. December 20th

He is 9 pounds, 1 ounce and 20 inches long.

I'll let her post his name . . .

Yay, my Pookie (as he will be known as on my blog, and by me for the rest of his life . . . lucky him.) is finally here!!

Annie

2008-12-18T18:30:00.000-08:00

C.C just finished performing in El Dorado Musical Theatre's production of Annie. This show was certainly not a show to be missed. It was amazing . . . , plus there was a dog . . . how can you not love a show with a dog??

The show was double cast, and C.C was on the Roxy Cast. I was the official bio typist, again, and the Parent Volunteer Coordinator, which basically means all I did was eat, sleep, and breathe Annie for three months. It was so much fun though, and I can't wait to do it again. It was great to get to know and work with all of the parents, and to force them to get involved in their children's activities!! (That was actually the hardest part, believe it or not.) The kids were great . .. when the cast lists first came out, I was a little worried because the Times Square cast was full of seasoned performers, and we had a lot of newer performers, but I knew the Artistic Director knew what she was doing when she did the casting, and indeed she did! The cast did a fabulous job!!

Annie and Molly: "Please won't you come get your baby, maybe . . ."

"It's a hard knock life for us . . . "

"Just thinking about tomorrow . . . "

"The sun will come out, tomorrow . . . "

"You're only a day away . . ."

C.C .as a Hoovervillian

"We'd like to thank you Herbert Hoover . . . ."

(I know it's blurry, but I love this picture.)

"Little girls, little girls, everywhere I look, I can see them . . ."

Hannigan stole the show!!
Hannigan and Grace

"The swimming pool is to the right , . . ."

(C.C. far right.)

"I think I'm gonna' like it here . . ."

C.C as a Warbucks Staff

Bert Healy and Warbucks

Wacky and Mr. McCracken

Bert and Warbucks again

"Ahhh, the lovely Boylan Sisters . . ."

"You're never fully dressed without a smile . . ."

Bert Healy's "Hour of Smile"

The orphans listening to Bert Healy's "Hour of Smile"

"Smile, darn ya, smile"

(Isn't she the CUTEST orphan?"

Part of the Orphan Kick Line

"I don't need anything but you . . ."

Rooster and Lily (as Ralph and Shirley Mudge) about to butcher the adoption plans.

Grace and Annie listening to Rooster and Lily try to butcher the adoption plans.

Hannigan dressed up for Christmas . . . and about to be busted!

Random Annie pictures . . .

Grace, Warbucks, Annie, Sandy, Hannigan, and Rooster during bows

C.C. in her Hooverville costume

C.C in her Warbucks Staff costume

The villains . . . Lily, Hannigan, and Rooster

Good Day Sacramento t.v. appearance

C. C. and friends at 6:00 a.m.

Good Day Sacramento anchor dressed as Annie

The orphans in the orphanage

Hannigan and "Annie"

Annie and orphans

"Annie" and orphans

C.C in her NYC costume . . . she was a Mom

Warbucks mansion

Family Picture

Rooster, Hannigan, and Lily in their awesome shirts!

C.C. and Bert Healy

C.C. and her tap friend, Devin, as Mrs. Pugh

C.C. and the emotional Miss Hannigan

C.C. and Lily

C.C and her other tap friend, Terry, as Rooster

One of the Boylan Sisters, Grace and C.C.

Annie and C.C.

Warbucks and C.C.

C.C and Sandy

The End

This is for Katie, and EVERYONE else who has given up on me . . .

2008-12-13T17:45:00.000-08:00

I've never really considered myself to be crazy, but as I sit by the light of the computer screen, typing to myself, I am beginning to second guess myself! Yes, it has been seven long months since I have posted to my lonely blog, but I promise, it has not been seven long months since I thought about all of my blog friends. During my blog hiatus, I still took the time to visit everyone, though not always leaving comments . . . you see, my excuse is this: Starting with The Wiz, I took on the job as "Official Cast Bio Typist" and therefore sat for many hours typing the bios of each cast member, harassing the parents of the cast members who refused to read the newsletter, therefore holding up the entire bio typing process by not turning them in on time . . . lather, rinse, repeat!! I know, it doesn't sound like a valid excuse, but it's all I can think of right now!

I now give you the speed tour of the last seven months in review . . . fasten your seatbelts, keep your arms in at all times . . .

The Wiz

C.C. rehearsed and performed in The Wiz. In the photo above, she is part of the tornado. I'm not sure which one she is, but I promise, she's there! In the photo below, we have the hysterically funny Addaperle, the Good Witch of the South, and the Munchkins. Aren't the costumes fabulous . . . so fun!

The Yellow Brick Road

The Scarecrow (The Artistic Director told the Set Designer, "I want Wizard of Oz meets Andy Warhol" and here we go . . . )

Dorothy, Scarecrow, and The Yellow Brick Road

Dorothy, tapping Tin Man, and Scarecrow

The Lion

Emerald City Scene: C.C. on the right in the silver wig as an Ozian

The Wiz

The Wiz and the four friends

Evilene the evil witch

Margaret Pellegrini, an original Munchkin from the Wizard of Oz, came to our Opening Night. She was great, and so cute! (Although she told a joke that I still don't get, but oh well.)

C.C as a Flying Monkey. She was so thrilled to get this part!

Willy Wonka

After The Wiz, like literally the week after closing show, she began rehearsing for Willy Wonka, in which she played a Candy Kid. In the photo below, she is standing in front of our amazing lobby display . . . do you see the chocolate waterfall and river?

Candy Kid

The Candy Kids

C.C. and her very favorite Candy Kid

More Candy Kid . . .

She also played a lollipop and a gobstopper, but I don't have any pictures of those costumes, which is really sad because they were cute! Well, the lollipop was cute, the gobstopper on the other hand was just plain . . . interesting!

Oompa Loompa, Ms. Teavee, Candy Kid, and Violet Beauregarde

The Golden Ticket Winners and Wonka

Oompa Loompas . . . so cute!

In between The Wiz and Willy Wonka, C.C. had her last day of elementary school. Below is a reminder of the first day of fifth grade, which really doesn't seem that long ago . . . in fact, if you read back probably about three posts, you may be able to see this same picture!!

And . . . the last day of elementary school . . .

My niece graduated from Eighth Grade as Valedictorian of her class . . . .

She's as tall as me . . .

The speech . . . .

Next, I found out my sister is expecting her first baby . . . so, so , so exciting! As I type this, he may be preparing to make his debut . . . .

My brother asked the lovely Jeni to marry him, and she said "YES!"

We got a boat this summer, so when we weren't at rehearsal, we spent a lot of time out on the water . . .

C.C and her cousins

We also got a pool at our Clubhouse and Cabana, so we did a lot of swimming and tanning . . . and ordering food from the Clubhouse and charging it to our account like we're on a resort

vacation . . .

As the summer came to a close, we said goodbye to some of our favorite theater friends as they embarked on their journey to "Big Kid School" . . . College. Here they are at the final bows of Thoroughly Modern Millie

Lauryn went to Oklahoma University Conservatory of Music and Theatre

(There used to be a picture here until I pushed some button and it disappeared, and since I'm not on my home computer, I can't go to my picture file and replace it . . . and if I wait until I go home to find the picture and then publish this post, it may be 2010! So . . . Lauryn is in the picture above, in the red dress, second from the left . . . crisis averted!)

Spencer went to Brigham Young University, Idaho . . .to study the snow!

And, C.C.'s idol and role model, Savannah, also went to BYU, Idaho.

The real end of the summer came when Miss C.C started Middle School . . .

She just finished her first trimester of Middle School with a 3.86 GPA . . . All A's except for Advanced Math . . . she got a B . . . and she rehearsed for Annie and took dance classes three-four days a week.

Almost there . . . . we're up to Hallowen. We spent Halloween in Utah and had my sister's baby shower the same weekend. It was a crazy, fun, busy weekend . . . and surprisingly, not very cold!

C.C. was Tinkerbell . . .

Emily was Supergirl . . .

Emily, Ryley, and C.C.

The next day we had a marathon day of baby showers . . . family first, then friends . . . Sis got lots of blankets . . .

Since returning home form Utah, C.C has performed in Annie and celebrated her 12th birthday . . . those stories to follow shortly. Annie was such an awesome show, it deserves a post of it's own.

Thanks for believing that I would be back to my blog someday . . . thanks for coming back!! I'm now off to continue typing Joseph bios and harassing parents.

P.S. Katie, I'm ready to go girl shopping!!!!

Congratulations!!!

2008-05-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the world little (or maybe not so little) man!!

Teachbroeck and her family are happily enjoying their new son and brother!

I can't wait to watch him and his big sister grow together.

It's 10:04 p.m. Saturday night . . . Do you know where your child is?

2008-05-10T22:05:00.001-07:00

Mine? Oh, well, since you asked . . . she is in the laundry room ferociously IRONING all of her clothes because she thinks it is easier to throw the clean clothes on a big chair, leave them there for a few hours, then iron them before she puts them away) pajamas included, because she's weird.) . . . instead of simply just folding them as soon as they get out of the dryer! Sometimes I just really don't get it . . .

I guess I should just appreciate the Saturday nights spent at home in the laundry room for as long as they'll last . . .

Happy Mother's Day to all of the fabulous Moms out there!!!

Checking In, Again . . .

2008-04-30T15:13:00.000-07:00

I have a few minutes before I have to begin Operation:Apply Stage Make-Up and Braid Too Short Hair Into Two French Braids! Though I don't have time for a real post, as in, a post that I've written, I thought I would just post, yet again, one of CC's beautiful writing assignments (I know how much ya'll love those!) Okay, I have to go off on a small tangent here . . . I apologize if I've already asked this question here before . . .is it y'all or ya'll? I've always wondered.

Okay, so on with the post . . . just so you know we're still living and breathing . . .

There are many reasons why I should be an AVID student. Some of the reasons are that I am unique, I have goals for myself, and I will contribute a lot to AVID.

I am unique because I am Egyptian and I speak Arabic. I also do theater and perform in musicals, and not a lot of people, that I know, do that. I am good with kids and I am very energetic. My friends think I am funny and fun to be around.

I should be an AVID student because I set goals for my self. In ten years I hope to be graduating from Yale, my dream school, and studying acting. My dream is to be on Broadway. I also hope to get a dog.

I can contribute a lot to AVID by being a good leader and a good helper. I also am a good public speaker and a good particeapater. I can also stay on task without being asked again.

I very much want to be in AVID. I want to be in AVID so I can be successful, and for college preparation. Also I want AVID to help me get organized and to give me the extra push I need to be successful. I also hope AVID can give me support and encouragement for me to do my best. I also hope that AVID can give me strategies to do better in school.

I hope you choose me for your program. I am ready to contribute my unique skills. I am excited to learn new strategies for school success in the AVID program.

Okay, so CC is applying for a program called AVID for Middle School. Please don't ask me what the acronym AVID stands for because the meeting was really boring and I don't remember! I do know, however, that it is a college preparation class that teaches students to be organized, teaches them how to study, and takes them on field trips to visit college campuses. CC is really excited about it, but nervous that she won't be accepted. The darn application process was pretty rigorous, but she got it all finished and turned in . . . now we wait. What you see above is her recruitment essay that she had to write to explain why she wanted to be in the program and where she would like to be in ten years. I didn't help her at all, except to change the spelling of the word 'encouragement' in the fifth paragraph because she had typed 'enragement' and personally I didn't think she needed any help with that!

Well, we, I mean CC has five shows this week, starting with one tonight, so we are off to see The Wiz . . . .

Oh wait, before you go, please stop by to visit my friend Teachbroeck . . .she was scheduled to deliver her much anticipated baby boy today!!

Just so you know I'm still here . . .

2008-04-01T19:49:00.000-07:00

I don't have a lot of time to write because I have LOTS of typing to do for the playbill. I just wanted to let everyone know I am still here . . .I miss you all! I promise (I think, I hope) that I will write a real post soon. Until then, it was cast photo day today, so enjoy the few pictures I have. I would have more except I got a new camera (Yay Me!!) and every time I took a picture, it would set off the photographers flash, and I kept getting "yelled" at, so I didn' t take many pictures. Oh well, that's life!

Checking In . . .

2008-03-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

I realize I have been MIA lately. I am so sorry . . . things have been crazy. Please remember, just because I don't update, doesn't mean I don't think about each and every one of you each day, I promise!! Thank you to all of you who have sent me messages of concern, or simply, messages wondering why in the world I haven't updated.

Everything is going fine, just lots of crazy, busy times. I have lots to tell you, but unfortunately I have to run out the door again in literally 10 minutes . . . I just wanted to let you know that I had fully intended on taking the time to update last weekend . . . and then . . . well, here are my two very valid excuses as to why that did not happen . . .

Excuse #1: The Reason I Did Not Update On Friday . . .

Yes, I read the entire book Friday night! I know some of you out there are Picoult fans . . . this is her brand spanking new book, that I was so happy to find when I went in to get Nineteen Minutes, which had FINALLY come out in paperback. I didn't even care that this book was only in hardcover, it looked so good, and I was so excited!! This is definitely a must read for all Picoult fans . . . and even if you've never read her work before, you should really give it a shot.

Excuse #2: The Reason I Did Not Update On Saturday . . .

The brand spanking new Kinsella book!! She is another one of my favorite authors, so I was equally excited to see that she had a new book out too! I fell in love with Kinsella upon reading the Shopaholic series . . . I read the entire series, starting with the last book (don't ask me why) within a two week time span, and I'm pretty sure the only reason it took me so long to get through them was because I had child-rearing responsibilities to contend with!! Though this story is not as funny as the Shopaholic series, it is still a great story, written in true Kinsella fashion.

So, there you have it, my two valid excuses for not updating over the weekend. I still have Nineteen Minutes to read, but I think I need a reading break for awhile, unless of course I get whisked away to some resort spa to sit around the pool all day doing nothing but reading and soaking up the sun . . .but, that's highly unlikely.

I'll be back soon . . .

M.I.A

2008-03-12T16:57:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed a strange absence.. for... lets say...... 13 days!!!!!!!!!!!

This is little sis.. I was wondering if anyone has seen this girl...

(The girl.. not the dog!)

How about this one??? Does she ring any bells????

Wellllll.. I actually have good news.. She's not dead!!!!!!!!!!!

I did talk to her yesterday, her life has been the normal hectic busy.. Drive C.C here.. then take her there.. Pick her up from here and drop her of there.. get it?

The most exciting thing in C.C's life is that she is doing a state project and got to choose UTAH!

She has asked me to send her some things. I called to ask exactly what she needed. I didn't know if she wanted information on what kinda crops grow here.. or what the population is. ORRRRR the attractions and"fun" things to do. (p.s. fun things in Utah include: mixing sliced carrots instead of shredded carrots into Green Jello / Going to Training Table for cheese fries and fry sauce / and going to Costco)

She responded that she "just needed me to count the people!"

No problem.. I'll have that census back to you in 2020. I'm sure your teacher will understand.

Well, there is that and play practice, lots and lots of play practice. No word on how the Giant Tongue is coming. But CC told me she was a little worried about some of the scenes! She's glad she gets to be a tornado dancer!

So since her life doesn't have much going on.. do you care about mine?????????

We're moving in ... well 2 days!!!!!!! and the people haven't even moved out yet. I'm soo completely ticked and nervous about that. They keep saying they can move out anytime, NOW looks like a pretty freakin good time to me. What was looking to be a smooth transaction has turned into problem after problem after problem. Have I mentioned that we have had problems? On a side note, they have a 2 years old that is the most adorable thing in the world. His name is Cohen. (And they aren't Jewish) I can't help but wonder if she named him after Seth Cohen on The O.C. But that's probably really rude to ask right? I'll bet you $100 she did! Back to the kid.. he is soo cute. He says "Not" to almost everything you ask him.

Me: "Cohen do you want to show me your room?"

Cohen: "Not"

Me: "Cohen are these your horsey's?"

Cohen: "Not"

Me: "Cohen are you allowed to jump on Mommy's bed?"

Cohen: (with a big smile) "Not"

Me: (by the way are you getting annoyed? Because seriously.... it's cute!!) "Cohen are you

ticklish?"

Cohen: (running away laughing) "Not"

Really.. it might sound annoying, but it's seriously cute!

But his parents... GOOD LORD.. get out of my house already!!!!!!!!!!!

And ummmm.. I made a wedding cake.. want to see??

Cute huh??? I was pretty pleased with it. And the bride LOVED it. That's all the really matters.

Well.. that's all that is really going on in my life. Sorry it's not more exciting.

I have a very good feeling that my sister will be back very soon. If you guys can think of a topic for her to write about.. you might want to leave a comment. Maybe that will help her!!

Have fun... Be Good.. and don't stop checking back for updates!! Lots and lots of updates! Right????????

Gosh Darn, She CAN Spell!

2008-02-19T20:29:00.001-08:00

Okay, I really was going to lay off of the "My child's spelling is atrocious" posts, but this one is too good to not share. I would like to thank my Little Sister for providing me with the material for this post. I would also like to thank her for entertaining my child through Instant Messenger yesterday morning while I "cleaned the house" (Read: slept!)

I received an email from Little Sis with the following transcription of part of their IM conversation with the message, "Doesn't the last sentence just sum it all up?!"

(Now, if you are one of those "read the last page in a book first" type of people {RYLEY} let me warn you, do not skip to the bottom to read the last sentence . . . you will ruin the fun.)

Charming Child: what did you do for valentines day

Little Sis: umm.. worked during the day.. then went out to dinner.. then hung out at barnes and noble.. then went home..

Little Sis: what did you do?

CC: i eat beff jreaky pudding and pckles for dinner

Little Sis: beef jerky pudding?? GROSSS!!! **

CC: i got them from your mom

Little Sis: thats a pretty disgusting pudding flavor..

CC: sorry beff jreaky and pudding***

Little Sis: ohhh.. okay that makes more sense..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

CC: ( i can spell sorry)

**Notice Little Sis spells the words "beef jerky" correctly
***Notice CC still does not!

Integrity, Courage, Strength

2008-02-15T22:01:00.000-08:00

Some of you may recall this interrogation I went through awhile back . . . I am pleased, and extremely, fantastically, PROUD to announce that my little brother graduated from the Sheriff's Academy this past Tuesday!! I'm sure it had everything to do with my wonderful review of him, and not anything at all to do with his six months of blood, sweat, and tears (I'm not kidding about this, I saw some academy video footage, and I must say, just watching it exhausted me!)

Announcing, The New Sheriff in Town, Protector of All Things Alive, Deputy Little Brother (Drum roll please . . . )

"My future looks pretty bright from here . . ."

Yep, one of those is his . . .

His girlfriend and I . . . hey, it's not ALL ABOUT him!

Aww, so cute, so happy . . .

Aww, so cute, so proud . . .

Here it is, one time only, a picture of the littlest sis . . . who by the way, I believe, is in for a rude awakening now that Big Brother has his badge . . .

The family, including my Stepmom, who will probably never sleep another wink in her life until my brother retires . . . no joke!

Suitable for All Ages . . .

2008-02-15T21:27:00.000-08:00

It will not surprise any of you to know that I am behind in all of the things I want to post. I have pictures piling up that I want to share with you, stories to tell, and nonsense rambling to get off my chest . . .

So, last Saturday, C.C. had her auditon for her next musical, The Wiz. I was so proud of her, she actually made it all the way through the audition this time, instead of running out of the building in terror like she did the first time, and then choosing not to audition the second time. I guess the third time's a charm, right? She didn't get a callback, but atleast she made it over the audition hurdle. The cast list was posted on Wednesday, and among other parts that have not been determined yet, she was cast as a Tornado . . . there are about 15 tornadoes, so knowing the Director, they will probably be doing some kind of dance, most likely tap . . . The Tapping Tornadoes, ha! I'll keep you posted on that . . .

Wednesday, an email went out from the theatre asking if anyone would be willing to type the
script into a Word document, so, stupidly I responded and said I would "be happy to do it." Thank Goodness three other people also volunteered because the darn script is 80 pages long!!! I was in charge of pages 30-50, and I am proud to announce that I have my part complete and emailed in to the Producer.

There is a point to me telling you all of this, and the point is . . .Has anyone ever seen the movie The Wiz, or read the script, or seen a live performance? Just wondering because I came across some very interesting scenes while typing my pages 30-50. Like this . . . Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tinman, and Lion have just entered the Poppy Field that they were warned to avoid (stage directions in parentheses)

LION: Wait for me! (He starts to follow to Stage Right, but a Poppy blows dust in his face, and he is hooked.) Y'all go on ahead. (Crosses Downstage, Left, Center.) I'll bring up the rear. (The Poppies, beautiful, sinuous, like streetwalkers, radiating sex, surround the lion. He moves among them, trying to touch and sniff each one. He gets higher and higher. ) All together ladies . . .

So, we have the Lion getting high off of poppy dust . . . . (I left out the part where the poppies surround him and grind and bump!)

Then there's this, the big entrance of the Wiz himself . . .

(Before the terified eyes of Dorothy and the others, two giant doors slide apart, revealing a mask. The mask then flies diagonally toward Stage Left, revealing yet another aperture, not unlike and iris**. As the aperture opens, mountains of smoke pour out, and through it, riding on what appears to be a giant tongue, comes the figure of the Wiz himself. The Wiz moves forward a bit, and when the tongue has reached its final position Downstage, the Wiz strikes a pose, flips his cape open, and he is, indeed, an awesome figure to behold.)

** What in the world does that mean?

And, indeed, he must be awesome if he's riding in on a giant tongue, for crying outloud!

Okay, I'm not complaining, because I have seen many shows put on by this theatre company, and they are all done in extreme good taste, and yes, they are always suitable for all ages . . . . but, I admit, those two scenes made me stop and think. I'll have to tell you how it turns out once the Director starts blocking the scenes. All I know is I am definitely going to join the team that is in charge of building the giant tongue . . . if for no other reason than to have pictures!

Yet Another Writing Assignment . . .

2008-02-09T17:11:00.000-08:00

I apologize in advance to bore you with another of CC's writing assignments. I truly am not posting this because I think it qualifies as "Good Reading." It is purely for the fact that one day I know she will come to me with wonderment at the spelling atrocities of her own children. "Why can't Little Suzy remember how to spell the word because?" she'll ask. And, "Why does Little Suzy spell the word friend with every-single-letter combination EXCEPT the correct one?" It will be then, when those questions arise, that the glorious day will have come for me to frantically search for the two-ton storage container full of CC's school papers I've been hoarding since Kindergarten, that I probably will not be able to locate in the moment of excitement of preparing for the "I told you so's", that I will have to open up this blog to show her some samples of her own writing. So here now, without further adieu, we have the writing assignment from January 7, 2008 . . . .

(Two fingers spaces from the margin) The most exciting thing that happened over winter break was was me and my freind Zoes new Years eve party.

(Approximately one finger space form the margin) It was the most exciting thing that happened because we thourgh it our selves.

(Right at the freaking margin) It was at my house. We had lots of food and apple cidder. We had danceing a disco lights. It was really fun waching the ball drop.** We poped poppers at midnight and screamed happy new Year! We also sprayed silly spray. I was really fun.

**Funny that she mentions how FUN it was to watch the ball drop, because if my memory serves me correctly, she was upset at her friend Zoe for wanting to watch the ball drop because they were supposed to be dancing!

Enjoy the pictures from the "Most Exciting Thing That Happenend Over Winter Break"

He's Back . . . .

2008-02-07T09:27:00.000-08:00

All New . . . Brothers and Sisters . . . this Sunday! That's all . . .

Whoa, Whoa, I, I Can't Wait to See You Again . . .

2008-02-02T19:53:00.000-08:00

Does anyone out there, besides my Sister, remember watching the Mickey Mouse Club? M-I-C See you real soon K-E-Y Why? because I love you M-O-U-S-E. How about Kids Incorporated? We're Kids Incorporated K-I-D-S . . . I remember those shows a little too much I think. I'll be the first to admit, I am a huge fan of High School Musical and I know every word to every song, and I do enjoy watching Hannah Montana from time to time, and I do sing along every time I hear her(Hannah? Miley?) busting out with Best of Both Worlds, "Chillin' out take it slow, then you rock out the show" at the beginning of each episode. Why then, am I a little disturbed to hear Miley Cyrus on my radio station every time I turn it on? Furthermore, why do I ALWAYS turn up the volume when I hear her song?
I realize my radio station is full of former Mousketeers gone big, or gone bad, and this whole Miley thing shouldn't bother me, but it's Miley and she's like 14 years old, and why is she making more money than me?
Christina Aguilera, former Mouseketeer comes on the radio, and "I'm thanking her for knowing exactly what a girl wants, what a girl needs . . . ." Britney Spears, former Mousketeer, comes on the radio, and though I have never been a Britney fan, I know EVERY word to Piece of Me. Justin Timberlake, former Mousketeer, comes on the radio and whenever I hear the interlude to Lovestoned I Think She Knows, "those flashing lights come from everywhere" and I have a sudden desire to marry the man, seriously, and I don't even think he's that cute, but oh man, that song just gets me everytime! Then there's Vannessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale whom I equally love, and the Jonas Brothers whom I could give or take, but MILEY . . . . she's so cute, and so young, and "seems" so innocent, and shouldn't her songs only be on Radio Disney? Maybe I feel as if my radio station will corrupt her? And come to think of it, I really don't even know why I'm writing any of this, except CC said to me this evening, "I'm so glad the radio is playing Disney songs," and quite possibly that comment made me think . . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last time I freaked out

I just kept lookin' down

I st-st-stuttered when

You asked me what I'm thinkin' 'bout . . . .

And next time we hang out

I will redeem myself

My heart can't rest 'til then

Whoa, whoa,I,I can't waitTo see you again

-Miley Cyrus

Heartbroken and Bruised . . .

2008-02-01T19:24:00.000-08:00

You know, this writer's strike is really starting to get on my nerves. I'm not saying my life revolves around television, but I do have my favorites. Why can't the striking writers just come to a solution already? I'm pretty sure a new season of The Bachelor should have started by now, and seriously, what do the writers have to do with that show? Why isn't it on?

In all seriousness, I am a huge Bachelor fan, but who cares about that? I miss Senator McCallister, really, really, miss him!! Just when some important information was revealed that was going to help him win his campaign, BAM, no more episodes!! How will I ever know if he became the next President? How will I ever know if Kitty talked him into wanting more children? (Darn her, lucky girl!) Oh goodness . . . . On a side note, what about those Desperate Housewives? Is Carlos going to find himself single again once Little Miss Gabby finds out he's blind? Is Mike going to be out of rehab before his baby is born? And, I'm DYING to know what that note, that was written on unburnable paper, said that Dylan* (I think that's her name) pulled from the burning fireplace. And those crazy doctors from Seattle Grace Hospital . . . What was Meredith thinking? Why can't she just let herself be with McDreamy ( I seriously can't even remember his "real" name right now)? Will Izzy and, oh, what is his name? See, I can't even remember their names, it's been so long. Oh goodness, what is his name?? Let's see, I remember this joke . . . Callie, Callie . . . Oh, I rememeber, O'Malley . . . George. What will happen between Izzy and George? Will they be able to work past their lack of chemistry?

Please Writers, can't we all just get along? I miss Senator McCallister! I'm so heartbroken.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In another part of the world, yet still so close . . . I have a bruise on the bottom of my foot. I didn't even know the bottom of the foot bruised. And, it is a bruise, trust me, I tried to scrub it off for days! I've never heard of this before, or is this something people usually keep to themselves? At first, I had no idea how I could have bruised the bottom of my foot, but then I remembered that day that someone left my pants, with my super cute pink belt attached, on the floor, and I stepped on the prongs of the belt. Yep, I'm pretty sure that's how I bruised the bottom of my foot. Darn that Someone!

I tried to take a picture of this bruise, just in case you didn't believe the craziness of the bottom of the foot bruise, but I was extremely unsuccessful. I just couldn't get the lighting to work and the picture never came out right. I would however like to direct you here to see a close depiction of what the bruise looked like.

That's all for now. Have a great weekend!

Signing off . . . Heartbroken and Bruised

P.S. The word was Procedures . . . just wait until I post the materials list. I seriously do not know where to find a pancial and papper!

Guess the Word!

2008-01-27T18:24:00.000-08:00

This is my lame attempt at a real update . . . really, really , really lame attempt! My head is full of updates, yet when I sit at the computer nothing comes out. I promise I will TRY to update, really update, this week. For now . . .Guess this word . . .

Porcegers

I'll give you a clue - It was written, by CC, in her Science notebook.

That's it, that's all you get.

Good Luck!

It's All The Rage . . .

2008-01-16T12:55:00.000-08:00

Edited: Behold the Cross-eyed-crab-hat picture!! Just for Little Sis . . .
P.S. Should I seek some kind of mental help??!! Or, is it normal for one to deliberately cross their eyes and then ask for a picture to be taken?? Please weigh in . . .

And, just for fun, though not technically a "cross-eyed" picture . . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you're having a great week!!

Dear Winter,

2008-01-04T15:17:00.000-08:00

I would like to apologize in advance in case I snap at you at any time during the composition of this letter. I am highly sleep deprived because I have been lying awake each night dealing with some lame illness that causes me to gasp for air and wonder if my throat is going to close up on me. Oh, and the ear pain. It’s ridiculous, I tell ya!

If I wasn’t suffering from severe sleep deprivation, I realize I would not have an excuse for being snappy, but since I do happen to have a valid excuse, let’s just roll with it. Agree to agree? Alright.

First of all, I know this may send you packing, straight to therapy, but no matter how many times your mother has tried to tell you she doesn’t have a favorite child, and she loves each of you equally, I am pretty sure she’s lying! I just want to be a straight shooter, if you know what I mean. Better to face the facts, than to live in denial. Think about it, Mother Nature has four beautiful children . . . Spring, whom she gives the power to bring the flowers up from their roots and grace the lands with their happy colors, so that all of the people of the world can find joy in their surroundings. Summer, whom she gives the warmth and sunshine. She allows Summer to warm the world so that the children may frolic amongst the green grass playing games with their friends such as tag and hide-and-seek. Fall, whom she allows to paint the trees with many splendor colors, and cover the ground with the cheapest form of entertainment known to children, leaf piles. You, Winter, she gives the cold and the rain and the wind and the snow, and shall I go on? I think not. I’m not trying to be snappy or anything, all I’m trying to say is that maybe you should hibernate for a few years and think about what I’ve said, that’s all.

Your visit this year has been lovely. You were a bit late on your arrival, which gave me some much needed extra time with Summer and Fall, but that little game the three of you played for the entire month of November . . . you know the one where you rotated your days every three days, was a bit much. And a little annoying. Even for me. Please take note. Thank you.

So, Winter, what’s it looking like for the rest of your stay? Let’s not wait until Groundhogs Day, the element of surprise makes me crazy! What will it be? Will you stay? Or, will you go, now? I’m just trying to plan accordingly. It’s not as if I’m trying to push you away or anything. No, not at all.

We have had some great times this year. Our day at Apple Hill when I shivered so intensely that my whole body ached the next day. That was great fun. The chili cheese dogs were good too.

Thank you for being so cold the night of the El Dorado Hills Christmas Tree Lighting festivities, that I talked myself out of going. I don’t know what I would have done if my blood had frozen up on me. You saved my life!

I know we have had many more great times this year, but most of all, Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for blowing through my street last night and knocking down EVERY. SINGLE. TRASHCAN. On your way through, thus dispersing trash throughout the entire street. It was cute. Really, REALLY CUTE!!! I, being the art aficionado that I am, can only describe your work of art as “Picasso meets Monet.” The lawns and the landscaping in the background were so realistic, yet the display of trash over the background was so abstract. It was genius, I tell ya! Pure genius! The beautifulness of the whole spectacle must have just been overwhelming to those above looking down, because it caused the Heavens to open up and the angels to cry (hysterically) tears of joy, for TEN STRAIGHT HOURS!.

Now, Winter, the only thing that would make your display of artwork even better would be for you to invite Mr. Sun out to dry up all of the rain, and send an itsy-bitsy gust of wind back down the street to blow the trash back in the can again . . . because I sure as heck don’t want to do it! Please forgive my snappiness! No sleep.

In closing, I would like to invite you back for another visit. What is your schedule looking like for December 2086?

Until then . . .

So long, Farewell, Aufwiedersehn, Goodbye, I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye . . . GOODBYE,

ME

So, I went to Costco . . . .

2008-01-04T07:08:00.000-08:00

. . . and purchased 96 bazillion gallons of apple juice. While I was showering last night, my ever so Charming Child poured all of the 96 bazillion gallons down the sink.

"Why," I asked.

"Because they said 'Best if Used By 12-07-08' and I thought since 2008 just started, it must have been a typo and it was supposed to say 12-08-07, and then it would be like three weeks old, " was her response.

" And yet you will leave a container of yogurt on the counter all day long, and take a bite every once in awhile . . . oh forget it!"

Merry Christmas . . .

2007-12-25T22:28:00.001-08:00

. . . from OUR home, to YOURS! Lots of love!

Fun with Friends . . .

2007-12-23T21:21:00.000-08:00

We had an unexpected, but enjoyable, chance to break the monotony of the chaotic Christmas preparations today . . . Who could ask for anything better than Fun with Friends (except for me to maybe not look so homeless, sorry, it's been a terribly long week)?

Because I promised . . .

2007-12-20T21:34:00.001-08:00

I promised to post some holiday pictures tonight, so here we go . . . I have been feeling under the weather lately, so I don't have many holiday pictures YET. I made CC put up the Christmas tree with her Dad because I was too sick to get out of bed and she wouldn't be quiet about putting the tree up . . . so, man and child put up a Christmas Tree . . . you can imagine how many pictures I got of that event - A big fat ZERO!! Why is it that I am the only one in the entire house that seems to think pictures are important? Does anyone else have this problem? Even if you don't, just tell me yes so I can feel better.

Oh, by the way, what exactly does the phrase "Feeling under the weather" even mean? Just wondering . . . Speaking of weather, it is so cold here! I know that many of you live where it is much colder than where I am, and for that I am very sorry, from the bottom of my heart - unless you like cold weather, and if that's the case, then, more power to you. Seriously, I have been freezing for days! It could have something to do with my fever, but I'm not sure. I can't even get comfortable at night to sleep because I have to stay in one position all night long, because if I move and touch a cold spot on the bed, I have to instantly go pee!! Does anyone else have this problem? Even if you don't, just tell me yes so I can feel better.

Alrighty, it has become obvious to me, as I read through this post so far, that the Nyquil has begun to work it's magic, so without further adieu, on with the pictures . . .

Before her Winter (because we dare not say Christmas) Performance

(That sign in the Christmas Tree says "Santa Stop Here" just in case he gets confused about where to leave the presents!)

Rudolph??

You pick the caption for this one . . . I'm fresh out of ideas!

The teachers performing with their cheat sheets because I think they forgot to learn the words to their song!

C.C.'s teacher, Mrs. R, front row in the white (not looking at her cheat sheet!)

I don't know any of these First Graders, but aren't they cute in their little reindeer hats and shirts?

Guess which child thinks her second home is the stage?

Some of the Fifth Graders rockin' out to Jingle Bell Rock

CC informed me that the performance this year would not be as boring as last year because they had choreography this time! I think she was talking about this . . .

CC, Mrs. R, and Best Friend

CC and Mrs. H (her Fourth Grade teacher)

CC and Friend

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!! Stay warm!!

Oh, if everyday was a writng assignment . . .

2007-12-06T14:01:00.001-08:00

I received a very thoughtful card from my friend Jennie earlier this week which read, " I thought this might brighten your day! Take care of yourself! I am thinking about you guys." Enclosed was CC's writing assignment for the day. I'll just fix all of the spelling and grammar as I type, because this one's a doozy!

I am most thankful for my Mom. I am thankful for her because she takes care of me more than anyone else. I am also thankful for her because she does everything she can to make sure I get what I need, and that I am happy. She loves me a lot and encourages my dreams to become an actress and a singer. She takes care of me when I am sick and helps me to do better in school. I am very, very thankful for her because she pays for my musicals and drives me really far everyday for rehearsal. She gets me everything I need because it makes me happy. I owe a lot to my Mom and I am very thankful for her.

Much Sappiness Below . . .

2007-12-01T20:34:00.000-08:00

I probably don't have any readers anymore, after my entirely too long blog hiatus and all, but here goes anyway . . .

Life has been anything but swell lately . . . well, that isn't entirely true . . . oh where to begin . . .

Little Miss Charming Child just closed her musical Aladdin with EDMT last Sunday. The experience was fabulous, as I expected it would be. It was so hard to tear her away from the theatre last Sunday night . . . she was looking for any excuse to stay. After she cleaned her assigned area, the lead girls dressing room, she asks, "Umm, do the boys need help cleaning their dressing room?" I responded, "I don't think so, but you can go home and clean the bathroom." That wasn't what she wanted to hear, oh well, I fail again.

Well, more Aladdin details and many, many, many pictures to follow . . .

. . . so, with the ending of Aladdin, came the realization that I could no longer ignore the troubles that had been brewing on the home front any longer . . . My first clue that things had become unrepairable (is that even a word?) should have been when all of my jewelry started breaking . . . the heart charm came off of my anklet, my XOXOXOXOXOXO bracelet broke, and one of the prongs on the very first ring he ever gave me broke . . . you know (actually, you probably don't) the ring with the emerald, because when we first met he asked what color my birthstone was and I said green, he bought the emerald, and my birthstone is actually the peridot. Apparently I should have been more specific! Oh well, it made for fun memories! Soooo, I just don't know, sometimes I think, in the words of the Genie, "But, oh to be free . . ."

. . . praying for answers, slowly receiving them, will keep you informed . . .

Okay, seriously, one of these days I am going to come back here and read this and think, "Quit your whining, strap on your party shoes, and let loose!" But until then . .

Alrighty, on with the update . . . First and foremost, I have a very important, and extremely overdue, letter to write, so grab your horses and hold'em for just a minute while I do so . . .

Dear Heavenly Father Above,

You know better than anyone that I am not very good about sending out 'Thank You's ' (or anything for that matter) in a timely fashion. Though I have verbally expressed my gratitude numerous times the past few weeks, I wanted to formally thank you as well.

Though there are not enough words to describe how grateful I am, I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart, and to Heaven and back, for wrapping your arms around my vehicle and guiding me safely to my destination on that fateful afternoon of November 8, 2007.

I will forever be indebted to you, as if I am not already.

Love,

. . . Okay, I can now breath a sigh of relief, I have been putting that off, though I don't know why, for almost a month now. . .

So, the day was November 8, 2007, the destination was an Elementary School in El Dorado Hills where theatre rehearsal was being held. CC and I hopped into the car after school , cranked up the radio, because that is the only way to travel, and began our hour long trek to rehearsal, just like we had done so many days before . . . only this time, we were headed to a destination that I had only been to twice before, over the river and through the woods, halfway to Grandma's house, on a two-lane road . . . We pulled into the parking lot, and it was there that it dawned on me and hit me like a ton of bricks, " I have no idea how we got here!"

"During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

I remember in high school watching the movie Red Asphalt in Drivers Ed. You know the movie with all of the blood and the road, and . . . oh, nevermind! (Is nevermind one word or two? Why does this dumb blogger always tell me it's spelled wrong? AAHHHH!) Then, after the movie, my teacher talked about Road Hypnosis as if it was right up there with driving drunk . . . I remember thinking, "How dumb! Why would someone focus on a dotted line on the road?"

Well, I am living proof, Thank you, God, that Road Hypnosis does exist. It's real, it's terrifying!!

And, I'm moving on . . .

This is by far the most scattered post ever . . . is anyone still reading??

Now, I want to apologize to all of my friends whom I have not had any time for while I was completely consumed by Aladdin (the show, not the character, besides he's too young for me!)Ibeebarbie, we are definitely catching up soon, I've missed you terribly! Teachbroeck, thank you so much for your email. Though composed of few words, it meant the world to me! My friend Jennie (CC's teacher) the words "Let me know if there is anything I can do," mean more to me than you'll ever know, thank you! And Diane, thanks for letting me call you and be a raving maniac without being judged! Amy, my Spyquest sidekick, this was a busy time for both of us, but dinner at BJ's, though short, was just what I needed. Oh, and how can I forget our short jaunt to Alicia's house . . . Remember this conversation?

Amy: Are you going to Alicia's tonight

Me: I want to, but I can't stay long, CC has a lot of homework and we have a long drive home.

Amy: Okay, let's go together. I can't stay long either because I have to feed the baby.

Me: Sounds great, we'll leave her house by 7:30

Amy: Perfect!

(drive to Alicia's house)

Amy: Let's get our story straight. You have homework and a long drive, I have a baby to feed. We're leaving no later than 7:30.

Me: Yep

(At Alicia's house)

Me: Umm, Amy, it's 8:17, maybe we should go.

Amy: Oh no, the baby!! (frantically searching for cell phone to call husband!)

Amy and I , and Ingrid at Alicia's house.

Good times, definitely!!

AAAAHHHHHH, Aladdin . . . absolutely spectacular, everything about it! The director/choreographer, the kids, the teenagers, the parents, the set, everything . . . Speaking of teenagers, this was the first show we did with the infamous EDMT Teenagers, and let me say they surpassed their reputation of being the best teenagers in the world, by far! I am seriously telling you, I have never met nicer teenagers in my life . . . nice, helpful, caring, compassionate, funny, friendly, respectful, all around great role models. They had such a positive impact on CC, which is great because all of those qualities are exactly what I would wish for her to have as a teenager . . . Oh Genie, please grant me this wish!! She was just a completely different person in the presence of them . . . so much so, that one would never be able to guess that on any given day, before rehearsal, she was just throwing a fit because, oh, I don't know, the weather didn't meet her freakin' sky-high expectations!! Unfortunately, I couldn't take the teenagers home with me at night, so usually things were back to status quo once rehearsal commenced . . . but, hey, "Stick with what you know!"

Hey, maybe I should start a business . . .I'll call it, Rent an EDMT Teenager for a Night. Well, actually that wouldn't be a very good business venture for me because I would be the one spending all of the money . . . Okay, on to my next brilliant idea . . .markers that only write on special paper . . . Umm, okay, out of ideas!!

I am such a space cadet tonight! I need to focus on the task at hand . . . Oh goodness, what IS the task at hand?

During Aladdin, CC and I got to catch up with friends we don't see very often, and make new friends . . . like my new friend, Teri, whom I love so much!! My partner in crime, Mean Mom #2 (take a guess at who was coined #1) . . . Thanks for all of the laughs, thanks for keeping me sane when I just knew certain children (who shall remain nameless) were going to be the death of me during rehearsal ("back row" hahaha), thanks for helping me when I discovered I could strangle myself with my Rehearsal Monitor "necklace"!! Come to think of it, you didn't help me at all, you laughed until tears streamed down your face if I remember correctly, which I do!! It was funny though, I loved that day!!! Memories . . .

Okay guys, if there are any of you left STILL reading . . . I have so much more to say, and so little brain power, so I will leave you with pictures, lots and lots of pictures . . . Enjoy!!

Aladdin Poster Blitz Team

We blitzed like no other (except the team that won!)

Yep, we parked there, and we weren't even there for the food!!

Rehearsal Pictures (Sorry, I love them!)

Also, sorry for the out of order-ness!

Uh oh, the Princess is in the marketplace

"Sometimes I just feel so . . . trapped."

"It's the only marketplace we have."

"Oops."

"Look what we have here boys, a street mouse!"

"Unhand him, by order of the Princess!"

"He's a Prince, at least he was to Me."

(By the way, you should hear her voice . . . Amazing.)

"Does anyone out there speak carpet?"

"The ever impressive, often imitated, but never duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, Genie of the Lamp!"

and he wants to know

"Did O.J. take my stuff too?"

"I'm dying to know . . . did they, or did they not find Nemo?"

"Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherazade had a thousand tales . . . "

"C'mon, whisper what it is you want. You ain't never had a friend like me."

"Some ol' powerful Genie you are. Can't do this, can't do that, probably can't even get us out of this cave."

Turbulent Carpet Ride

(No lines here, sorry!)

"Will I ever see you again, Aladdin?"
"Aladdin, is that you?"

Jasmine and Aladdin just hangin' out, seeing the world!

Safe landing . . . it's about to get mushy!

Now begins the out of order-ness!

CC as the Egyptian Queen

The evil (but only in character) Jafar and his feathered side-kick, Iago.

Genie and CC

"Oh Genie, why the blue face?"

Bunch of genies . . . CC is the one in blue!

Sultan happy, Jasmine, not so much!

Genie and Jasmine

He's going to Disneyland!

"Don't you dare close your eyes. Hold your breath it gets better."

What can I say? She's Egyptian, she always walks this way.

Merchant costume

Genie, Jasmine and part of the birthday crew

P.S. CC celebrated her 11th birthday during the run of the show.

CC and friends

Prince Ali is not who he says he is . . .

Phenomenal leads . . . original photo courtesy of Darla Wells Photography

Just go home, please . . . Nothing exciting here!

2007-11-04T15:22:00.000-08:00

Well, the first trimester of school ended on Friday. It seems as if I was just writing about the first day of school . . . maybe quite possibly it seems that way because there have been very few posts since then, hmm, well anyway . . .I can't believe the first trimester is over! What I really can't believe is that CC has two weeks of vacation coming up . . . thank goodness for theater because otherwise she would drive me crazy! Not that I don't enjoy spending time with her, it's just that whenever she is on vacation from school, she thinks she has the right to be entertained 24 hours a day! Not just, "let's play a board game" entertainment, but full out lavish "we need to spend money and do something exciting everyday" entertainment! Maybe I can get away with taking her to Starbucks each day for her 'Tall Sugar-Free Decaf Caramel Frappuccino' . . . probably not though! Speaking of Starbucks . . . I went through my pictures on Shutterfly the other day, and I was disturbed to discover that about 30% of my pictures are taken at Starbucks! I don't really know what disturbs me about that . . . maybe it's a sign that I need . . .to find a new coffee establishment! HaHa, I know you were thinking I was going to say maybe it's a sign I need a new life! The funny thing is, I really can't stand the taste of coffee! Starbucks has just been the place to meet and visit with friends that it has become a part of my daily life . . . I mean seriously, I get a headache if I haven't had my 'Iced Grande Extra Ice (very important) Tuxedo Mocha' by 9:00 a.m.! Personally I think it's all mental, but that still doesn't stop me! What's really bad, is my need to have coffee while I'm driving . . . I swear, it doesn't matter if I just had Starbucks, if I have to drive anywhere for a long distance, I have to have Starbucks!

"Hello, my name is Ryan and I am addicted to the idea of coffee!"

Here's the proof . . .

We use Starbucks as a Dentists' office, because it's cheaper than insurance!

C.C even played a Starbucks employee in her last Musical!

Daily therapy!

Girl's Day Out! I bribed them, I admit it . . .

The Big Day: Part Two

2007-10-24T15:18:00.000-07:00

It is my lucky day today! I went to visit my friend Teachbroeck where I was reminded that it is Wordless Wednesday. Wow! That is just my kind of day! So I am leaving you with more pictures from Little Sis' wedding, and tomorrow on Thoroughly Thorough Thursday (I made that up, yay me!) Little Sis will add the words! Enjoy!

Mission: Halloween Costume 2007

2007-10-21T14:20:00.000-07:00

Status: Complete

The Menagerie of Posts . . .

2007-10-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

First of all, my little sister is seriously (but not really) getting on my nerves . . . I have hinted and hinted for her to write a guest post, but instead, she enjoys leaving comments like, "Can you not get past a four line post?" Haven't I made it clear that I have writer's block?!? So, Little Sis, here you go, a more than four line post . . . I can't promise enjoyable reading, but I can promise more than four lines!

So, life lately has been a little crazy, hence the lack of posting. "What has been going on?" you ask. Turn up your volume . . . Yep, that's my life lately. Sounds fun, huh? Things are getting better though, and I am feeling better, and so here I am, attempting a post.

Where to begin . . .

CC is in the middle of rehearsal for her next musical, Aladdin. I can't wait for the show, I am so excited! Today was cast photo day . . . the costumes are just amazing so far. Of course we only got to see a small sampling of the costumes today.

(I am so sorry that these pictures are such bad quality because they don't even begin to do justice to what the costumes look like in person. Hopefully I'll have better pictures soon.)

It's almost Halloween, which means it's almost CC's birthday, which means it's almost Christmas . . . AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Anyway, CC decided she wants to be Sharpay for Halloween this year. Yes, they sell a costume and everything! How many Sharpay's do you think will be out scouring for candy this year? It's going to be like the year of the Red Power Rangers. Does anyone remember that year? My youngest sister (the tweaker, not to be confused with Little Sis, the one who refuses to guest post) was a Red Power Ranger "that" year. Oh my goodness, I wish I could find a picture of her Kindergarten Halloween parade. The entire elementary school paraded around the campus and I am not kidding, it was a sea of red, and a few witches. I can imagine my conversation now, if CC were to be in a Halloween parade this year:

Stranger: So, which darling costumed child is yours?

Me: Oh, she's the 1, 347 th Sharpay from the front!

On a side note, the color-blind Mr. Too Smart got his license . . . don't worry though, he has already managed to get himself in trouble and can now only drive himself to work and school . . . don't worry though because he has had his hours cut down to almost nothing at work because he got caught chatting and playing games online, while at work, so he can only drive himself to school . . . don't worry though because we don't really think he is enrolled in any classes, he just goes to make us think he is enrolled in classes, but now that he has to drive himself . . . oh, did I mention that he is scared to drive at night? . . . . well since his fake classes are supposedly at night, he will probably quit that charade too!

What else, hmmm? My child has Dictionaryaphobia! If anyone has any suggestions on how to cure this problem please let me know because I swear, if she tells me one more time that her Webster's Dictionary doesn't have the word she's looking for, I am going to hurl, as in "throw violently", not as in "puke" like she tried to put on her homework because the Webster's Dictionary didn't have the word hurl . . . I am going to HURL the Webster's Dictionary down the hall!! I have explained guide words to her over and over and over again, yet still they are a foreign concept. Here is our homework conversation from the other evening, though it doesn't really matter when the conversation took place because we have the same conversation each night, just with different words:

CC: Why did you circle the word 'marrige' on my homework?

Me: It's spelled wrong.

CC: Well, how do you spell it?

Me: Look it up in the dictionary, you have the first five letters correct.

CC: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE ME DO EXTRA WORK???

Me: (Silence)

CC: (Furiously flipping through the dictionary) This dictionary goes from MARGINAL TO MASK - THERE ARE NO M-A-R-R WORDS IN THIS WHOLE DICTIONARY!!!!!!

I'm just going to end the conversation there, but you get the idea.

Well, I have a few more things on my list, yes I made a list, of things to write about, but Grey's Anatomy is going to start in a few minutes, so I 'll have to end here. I know some of you are thinking, "Thank Goodness!"

Oh wait, I have to write about this . . . does anyone watch Beauty and the Geek? Anyone? I am just really wondering what in the world a Live Action Role Player (LARPER) is. That LARPER dude seriously (and I do mean seriously this time) just gets on my nerves, with his ever changing voice that mostly sounds like a girl . . . Seriously, what is a LARPER? I can't find it in the dictionary!

A Ridiculous Conversation With A Teenager . . .

2007-10-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

Mr. Too Smart: I have a driving test scheduled for tomorrow.

Me: Why? You haven't practiced since you failed the last test.

Mr. Too Smart: I didn't fail last time because I didn't know how to drive, I failed because I stopped at a green light.

2007-10-08T18:47:00.000-07:00

I am having a secret love affair with Weight Watchers White Chocolate Raspberry Yogurt, and the actor who plays Senator McAllister on Brothers and Sisters. Just thought you should know . . .

Random Thought . . .

2007-10-01T16:36:00.000-07:00

My horoscope today said I need a change of scenery and I should take a helicopter ride . . . . hmmm, are you kidding me? A helicopter ride?! Why would a horoscope suggest something so unattainable I couldn't even reach it if I was floating through the air in a hot air balloon? Which by the way, I would not be floating through the air in a hot air balloon because I can't afford that either!!

And I quote . . .

2007-09-26T19:26:00.000-07:00

I interrupt the regularly scheduled program currently in progress, "Big Day" to bring you an episode of, "Puberty: What Have You Done To My Child? Please Stop! I'm Begging You!"

. . . but first, did I tell you my laptop crashed? Yes, crashed, as in dead, gone, does not even turn on!! I tried to go laptop shopping this past weekend, when it suddenly occurred to me, I don't know a damn thing about computers. Getting a new laptop is really a necessity because the only other computer in the house is the "family" computer located in the loft upstairs. I, however, cannot stand to use that computer because the area surrounding the computer smells like a teenage boy who is so addicted to the computer that he only has time to run the water over his body in the shower, dry off, and put the same clothes on becasue he won't do his laundry. Also, he neglects to put deodorant on and I 'm pretty sure he also neglects to brush his teeth . . . who needs to have nice teeth and smell good anyway when you are incapable of communicating with the outside world?! I am telling you, I have exhausted my supply of febreze to no avail. I am pretty sure the whole area will have to be fumagated once he decides to move. Unfortuantely, I am typing this from that very computer (because he is talking on the phone in his room, which has freed up the computer, but don't EVEN get me started on the phone) and I'm going to have to breath soon, so I need to type faster!

Okay, back to my story . . . .Sunday night Charming Child and I attended the Elly Awards, which described by C.C. is "like the Oscars, only for theater." We had a great time, to say the least. C.C.'s theater took home 16 Elly's out of 49 nominations, the highest number of each. How exciting is that? I thought it was very exciting, and since C.C. usually doesn't do anything unless she knows there is a reward, it was great for her to see that her talents can be recognized.

What a fun night! What a long night! We did not get home until almost midnight, after a four hour awards ceremony. I thought it was worth it, for crying out loud, it only happens once a year!

Then came Monday morning . . . the day started with a stomping tantrum routine performed by the actress herself as she proclaimed, loudly might I add, "I NEED Starbucks! Why won't you get me Starbucks? I'm tired and I have to go to school ALL DAY!"

I offered to make her tea, since it would contain more caffeine than any caffeine free, sugar free drink she would be allowed to have from Starbucks, but she told me that tea wouldn't do any good. I then thanked God for the wonderful teacher she had, and sent her on her way to school, ALL DAY!

ALL DAY ended way too soon, and she was back home performing the same routine she had performed first thing in the morning. I thought the routine was nice . . . it had rhythm, she stomped to the beat of herself screaming, she had talent! And the Elly goes to . . .

Homework turned into a nightmare . . . she couldn't work in her room because she heard a RAT! Then, she couldn't look up her spelling words in the dictionary because it would take too long, and "if I would just tell her what they mean, she wouldn't have to work so hard!" Also, she couldn't do her math because she couldn't remember how to multiply, even though she could do it in class earlier. And, in between all of this nonsense, she had to take a 20 minute intermission every 5 minutes to tell me how much homework she had, and she was never going to finish it because I was making her go to bed at 7:30, and where would she sleep since I would not go find the rat in her room, and on and on and on!

Finally, I explained to her that if she would stop whining, she could get her homework done more quickly . . . to which she responded, AND I QUOTE, "You have been getting on my nerves ALL DAY!"

"Hmmm," I thought, "how ironic!"

Soooo, does anyone want to go to the Elly's with me next year?

P.S. Does anyone out there have the pink Herbal Essences shampoo bottle, Color Me Happy? I only have the conditioner and I want to know the answer to the trivia question "What percent of US women are born blonde?" Also, what is the question that goes with the answer, "hairs on head?"

The regularly scheduled program, "Big Day" will return shortly.

The Big Day: Part One

2007-09-21T23:11:00.000-07:00

I know what some of you are thinking . . . "Part One, great, we'll never see Part Two because she went to Utah almost two months ago for three days, and we've only seen the pictures from Day One!!" All I can say in response is, " I have every intention of writing a Part Two, so we'll just have to see what happens." Little Sis promised to guest post for me, and then she didn't because she wanted to go on her honeymoon, so maybe we could put a little bit of the blame for this being the least updated blog in the blogosphere on her . . . or maybe not!

So here we go, excuse #65,528,647 for why my blog has not been updated recently . . .

Introducing, Little Sis as a married woman!!!

The happy newlywed couple, Mr. and Mrs. (there is still a bit of a debate about this, but for all traditional purposes) Eaton!!

Well, as the saying goes, "A picture is worth a thousand words," which technically means I just wrote a post with over 13,000 words . . . for someone who is still for some reason suffering from severe writer's block, that's pretty good, if I don't say so myself!

Dear World,

2007-09-06T17:59:00.000-07:00

Though it is not Earth Day today, it is, due to the poor air quality, a 'Spare the Air' day in Sacramento. This means that children should not play outside, pets should not be walked, we should ride our bikes or carpool, yada,yada, yada.

With that said, I would like to do my part to save the earth, since the air is not cooperating today. I would like to save everyone from exhaling carbon dioxide into the air when they speak, thus causing the earth to panic because it already is having a tough enough day today, by informing you, I KNOW my hair is long!!!!!

Thank you to all of you helpful individuals who have taken the time to remind me of this, but really, "Spare the Freaking Air'!! Besides, I really don't know what to say to you when you tell me this . . . "Thank you" doesn't seem appropriate because you're really not complimenting me, and yet, "No Shit, really?" seems a little rude since 360% of the time I've never seen you in my life, and finally, "You've got to be kidding, it was short when I left my house this morning!" seems a little too sarcastic. So let's just agree that it is not necessary anymore to share the length of my hair with me . . . do we have a deal?

That's all for now. Have a great day!

Respectfully,
Me - with the long hair

Utah: Day One - The Shower

2007-09-01T22:40:00.000-07:00

So, today I realized that Little Sis is getting married in 13 days, and oh my goodness, I have not posted the Bridal Shower pictures! I have to post the Bridal Shower pictures before I post wedding pictures, otherwise, you know, things would be out of order, and we can't have that now, can we!?!? So, here we have it . . .

Charming Child, Em (CC's pen pal and soon to be kind of aunt) and Little Sis

Little Sis and I

And now, in no particular order, because blogger hates me when it comes to picture posting, the shower pictures . . .

The Hostess, Kara. Thank you, Kara, for everything you did for Little Sis. The shower was perfect and my Mom and I appreciated you filling in since we are so far away.

Little Sis and some of her new family members. Little Sis opening her gift from me. She doesn't look very pleased. The bag was so cute though, it looked like a purse.

Oh, she is pleased! I had to give her pictures of her actual gift, Bride and Groom sweatshirts to wear on the honeymoon, because even though I paid $50,000 extra for rush delivery, they still didn't come in time.

Here she is really excited about her Sesame Street tupperware from Mom!
Here's Mom and Little Sis's beloved and spoiled son, Riddick. This picture was taken moments before Riddick and his brother, Spike escaped from the backyard sending all of us on a wild frenzy through the neighborhood looking for them. They were found . . . of course Riddick blamed it on Spike, and Spike blamed it on the wind that blew the gate open . . . I guess we'll never know the truth.
Little Sis looking cute!
Do you see how she snagged that comfy chair for herself?

Another present from Mom, a cupcake cake pan!
The yummy chocolate fountain! Here's a fact for you that will make you want to run out and dip strawberries in chocolate . . . you have to mix 2 cups of oil in with the chocolate to make it flow properly.
Little Sis and Kara.
The Girls and Mom.
Little Sis has graciously offered to guest post until I get myself out of this writer's block rut, so hopefully we'll be hearing from her soon.

Utah:Day Two - Snowbird . . . Coming Soon

Oh, Blog of Mine, you have not been abandoned, completely . ..

2007-08-30T19:32:00.000-07:00

Hi, it's ME. Remember ME? I went to visit some of my favorite blogs this afternoon, and I thought, "Gosh, I hate it when I come to read a new post and there isn't one!" Then I remembered that I had a blog of my own, a highly neglected blog might I add . . . so here I am, attempting to write something interesting and exciting so that my blog doesn't feel so abandoned . . . I really don't know what is wrong with me lately, it's not a lack of things happening in my life to write about, it's just that by the time the dust settles after the kids are washed, dried, and put away for the night, I'm so darn exhausted . . . or maybe it's the wine, hmmmm, anyway. I know I still have a Utah post to write, which I thought about writing last night . . . I got as far as going to Shutterfly to find the pictures I wanted to use, and that's about it. . . I started looking through my trillions of pictures, emailing pictures to people, resorting my folders, then I didn't have any creative energy left so I just went to Myspace to stalk people instead.

Well, with that said, I still can't think of anything entertaining to write about that doesn't involve having to find pictures to go with it, because I can guarantee that will turn out the exact same way it did yesterday . . . so, on this, the 13th, count them, 13th, night of school and the 11th (because homework is not assigned on Friday) night of the homework wars, I will leave you with this letter that I received from Charming Child sometime during the first week of school (copied exactly as it was written) I hope you enjoy it! By the way, I've come up with a new slogan for Planned Parenthood, "Who needs condoms and the Pill when you can spend the day with my children?!?" (Can you tell it's been a rough night?)

Dear Mom,

This year I will put forth my ultimate best efort and take time to do things correctly I want you to be superior of me and I can be of myself.

I will also resepct you and help you around the house because you do so much for me. I will try to watch less t.v. and read more because I want to be better in reading.

I will also try to improve on math and spelling because that will help me get on the honer roll. I will also improve on takeing my time to get things right.

I will also except help and edmit things when I am wrong. That will help me become a better student. I will try hard in school and try to eat right and excrise.

I hope all of these things will make you proud of me.

Love,
Charming Child

What Time Is It?!?! Ummm . . . time for me to update!!

2007-08-22T19:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been desperately trying to add "What Time Is It?" from HSM2 to my music playlist, to no avail . . . so sorry to those of you who have not heard the song eleventy gazillion times since the movie premiere last Friday, because I know you would have enjoyed hearing it here. I'll keep trying . . .

For now, I guess I should update since I seem to have fallen off of our round earth the past week . . . I've been sucked in to the abyss that is the beginning of the school year . . . no, just kidding, I've just been lazy!

I am going to work backwards and work my way to my Utah update, which means tonight I will share our family get together and of course, HSM2 premiere night.

So, Mr Egypt's uncle and cousins were visiting from Washington D.C. , as well as his cousins from Canada. I have no idea who planned for them to come on HSM2 Premiere night . . . what were they thinking? Well, it all worked out, we had an early dinner and then by the time we snapped a few pictures, everyone was ready to go . . . just in time for C.C. and I to leave for our party.

Here are a few pictures of the Egyptian men pretending to be Italian . . .

Here is the parting family shot, minus the white girl, because I'm behind the camera . . . And, guess who we had at our house? It's really not that impressive to us anymore, but we had this celebrity in our house, she's Mr. Egypt's cousin.

Here is the close-up (just in case you don't believe me!)

Okay, so now that we have the family business out of the way, do you know WHAT TIME IT IS?!?

C.C. and I, along with some friends, attended Opening Night of our favorite theatre company's showing of HSM, followed by a premiere party and a showing of HSM2 on the big theatre screen. I have to be honest, I'm not sure who was more excited, C.C. or myself. I think I was excited for the play because I think this theatre company has some of the most talented kids I have ever seen . . . .I know, I know, I know, I've said that a million times, but I really think it's true. (P.S. Charming Child starts rehearsal for Aladdin on September 18th)

The play was fabulous, as expected! Here are some pictures of C.C clearly NOT enjoying herself . . .

. . . practicing her "jazz hands" . . .

C.C. and "Taylor" . . . C.C. and "Sharpay" . . . C.C. and "Mrs. Darbus" (AKA owner extraordinaire of theatre company) . . .C.C. and "Troy and Gabriella" . . . And then, after some junk food, which by the way, believe it or not, C.C. did not even ask to have any cake or cookies, though she made up for it the next day when she ate a piece of chocolate fudge cheesecake as her one sugar item of the week . . . anyway, as I was saying . . . and then, after some junk food, it was time for this . . . How many of you had children brought to immediate hysterics with the sight of this scene, just as the music erupted?

Imagine the hysterics of your child, multiplied by about two hundred other little teeny boppers (and parents) and that is what happened in the theatre as this scene showed up on the screen. I, of course cried, because that's what I do, I have no idea why, but that's just what I do.

All in all, it was a great day and night, and early morning since we got home at 1:00 a.m! Anyone ready for HSM3?? Maybe it will take place during winter vacation at Sharpay's ski resort . . . hmmmm, I should email Disney, I could be on to something . . . but I swear, that girl needs to give up on Troy . . . are you with me on this one? For crying out loud, which is almost what I did when Gabriella got in her van and drove away and Troy turned around and walked the other direction, anyway . . . for crying out loud, Troy belongs with Gabriella little Miss Sharpay, move on already, not that I don't love you too, but move on.

First Day Recap

2007-08-14T19:05:00.000-07:00

Well the first day of school was here, and as quick as it came it was over! The excitement of the beginning of the new school year is always so fun. Believe it or not, as a teacher, my favorite time of the year, right up there with the last week (well, I have to be honest) is the first day! The children are always so excited and enthusiastic, and trust me, we have to appreciate it while it lasts!

So, Charming Child was up at the crack of dawn this morning. She informed me lastnight that she was going to get up at 6:00 a.m. so she could relax and meditate, yes meditate, before she had to go to school (at 8:50 a.m.) Seriously, I don't know where she comes up with this stuff . . .my idea of a good morning is to get up thirty minutes before I have to leave and then meditate while waiting in the Starbucks drive-thru while Ms. (or Mr.) Barista McPerky makes my coffee!!

Upon further investigation of my annual first day of school pictures, I realized she didn't get up to meditate at all . . . she got up at 6:00 a.m. to paint her damn fingernails! After all, 5th grade is the new Freshman year and it's all about the look and the accessories, thank you very much London Tipton!!

All in all, I think the first day of 5th grade was successful, except for the fact that her prepackaged supplies weren't on her desk waiting for her . . . Apparently being the first one to turn in a check was a bad thing because they weren't ready to be organized and put the checks in a safe place . . .however, the problem has been rectified and she will have everything tomorrow.

I'll leave you with her responses to the annual first day of school interview:

1. What was your favorite part of the day? Getting to be in Mrs. R's class because she is nice and organized and fun and strict. She always makes sure everyone follows the rules and she likes teamwork. (Ummm, maybe she misunderstood the question . . . )

2. What was your least favorite part of the day? Math I guess, because I don't really have a least favorite part, but it was the only work we had to do. (Aha, there's my baby girl . . .whew, I thought for a minute I had brought home the wrong child . . . strict, teamwork, rules!!!)

3. What are you looking forward to in the 5th grade? Getting good grades, learning new stuff, and going to the State Capitol.

4. What are you not looking forward to this year? Running the mile in P.E. (She has been talking about this mile since about 3:00 this afternoon . . . damn the school district for trying to keep the kids in shape! )

5. What do you want to be when you grow up? A singer, an actress, and a journalist, but first I have to learn to spell. (And if any of you tell her about spell check, I will personally come after you, because the girl DOES need to learn to spell!)

6. What do you want to learn this year? How to read faster and long division and how to spell. (Mrs. R, I'll give you a bonus if you can teach her how to spell 'long division'!)

7. If you were the teacher, what rule would you have? No talking in class during inappropriate times. (No, seriously, am I speaking English clearly, or do I really have the wong child?)

P.S. I started C.C. on a "Less Sugar and No Processed Foods" Diet . . . I have tried damn near everything else to get her less than desireable behavior under control, so maybe a different diet will help. So far, so good . . . there has been ZERO door slams tonight, ZERO screaming fits, and NO obnoxious behavior for the sake of being obnoxious! I know, I shouldn't put my horse before my cart, or my cart before my horse, or something like that, but still, quietness, in any amount, is a beautiful thing around here!

Everybody have a great day!

Guess what day it is tomorrow. . .

2007-08-13T22:01:00.000-07:00

. . . I'll give you some clues:

Clue #1: Three new pairs of shoes. . . .

Clue #2: New clothes hanging on annoying store hangers. (Note to Self: Buy CC new hangers.)

Clue #3: A new backpack

Clue #4: A new desk chair.

Clue #5: A special outfit that has been laying out for three days (yes, tags and all)

If you guessed that it is Charming Child's first day of school, you are absolutely correct! (Excuse me while I jump for joy . . . ) I think that both of us are ready for the school year to begin. We found out who she got for a teacher this year, and we were both very pleased. Believe it or not, CC wanted Mrs. R because she is strict, and I wanted Mrs. R because the other 5th grade teacher's room is so cluttered I was afraid I wouldn't be able to volunteer in the classroom for fear of being sucked under the piles!

You may have noticed that there was not a picture of the new school supplies for the year. Then again, it may have not even crossed your mind. Last year the principal had the brilliant idea to sell prepackaged school supplies at a flat rate per grade, and the supplies would be waiting for your child on his or her desk the first day of school. Well, let me tell you, I was the first one to have my check in the office, with a big ol' "Hat's off to you!!" in the memo section! Believe me when I say, I would have paid quadruple the price of the packaged school supplies just to forego the arguing in the Target school supply aisle! I swear, if I had to listen to, "Well, Mrs. Fourth Grade Teacher liked this kind of pencil, so even though Mrs. Fifth Grade Teacher is requesting this kind, we better get the other kind," this year, I was going to lose my ever-loving mind!! Maybe I'm just more sensitive to this type of thing since I'm a teacher, considering I usually spend the entire first week hearing, "Mrs. Last Year's Teacher made us do it this way," to which I usually calmly respond, "Well, unless you would like to spend another year with Mrs. Last Year, I suggest you humor me and learn to do it my way!"

Here's to wishing everyone a fantastic 2007-2008 school year!

P.S. I apologize if this post didn't make any sense at all, and please excuse any grammatical errors you may have found, but I am not feeling that great, however I felt I had to write something since Little Sis so nonchalantly asked me today, "Uh, so, do you still have writer's block because you haven't written anything about your trip to California yet?" To which I had to remind her that I actually took a trip to Utah, and it wasn't that I had writer's block, it's just that I haven't been feeling so swell. I guess she hasn't been able to meet her 20% of internet time at work since my last post.

I have lots of pictures and lots of excitement (yes, we made it to East High) to share from my trip to Cali . . Utah. Hopefully I will get to that this week.

Get'cha Head In the Game because We're All In This Together (turn up your sound)

2007-08-01T15:52:00.000-07:00

So, now that the latest Harry Potter book has been out for over a week, we can get back to our regularly scheduled excitement . . . High School Musical 2 premiers in 16 days!!! Come on people, jump for joy!! If you have not had the privilege of hearing about the HSM2 premier for the past, oh I don't know, forever, please contact me and I can put you directly in touch with the expert, Charming Child! I think she knows down to the minute when the movie comes out. She's not the only one though . . . word around town is that this is a BIG DEAL! The wonderful children have no idea when they go back to school, but they sure as heck know when Zac, Ashley, and Vanessa will be making their way back to the Disney channel . . . to be replayed over and over and over for the next six months!

For those of you who have not heard about High School Musical, come on, Get'cha Head In the Game, it's the Grease of the 00's! I must admit however, although I know every single, solitary word, to every single, solitary HSM song (which I really enjoy, by the way), I have never seen the movie in its entirety. I know, I know . . . shame on me! I did go see High Musical the Concert though (because I don't have a HSM fan in my house or anything!) and it was one of the best concerts I have ever been to . . . with Avril Lavigne and Gwen Stefani tied for second, because that Avril can rock and Gwen is just awesome!!

I can't really seem to remember the point of all of this now . . . why in the world did I just write all of this HSM stuff? Hmmmmm . . . Oh well . . . .

**************************************************************************

Dear Travel Agent,

As you know, I will be flying in to Utah in a few days to attend my Sister's Bridal Shower. I am a little bit nervous about this because my blood is still thawing from the last time I went to Utah, but I am going to be brave and try it again. Please make sure you add this to my itinerary because Little Sis is just absolutely dying to experience the beauty of this event, and this weekend is all about her after all. Also, add this as well, because maybe I want to experience this one.

Finally, whatever you do, please locate East High in SLC, borrowed Home of the Wildcats, the place where HSM2 was filmed, because if my child does not get to "kiss the ground that Ashley Tisdale walked on" I may have to listen to some tantrum throwing this weekend, and frankly, I am not in the mood.

Your diligence with this matter will be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Mixed Up Me

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About ME!

2007-07-26T23:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, so maybe I won't share EVERYTHING about me . . .I have severe Writer's Block lately, which is proven by the fact that the best thing I could come up with the past few days was biting spiders (that turned out to be fighting teenagers "in love") and attacking ants (who never had the chance to escape the vacuum bag.)

To be quite honest with you, I have been brainstorming, trying to find ways to write a letter to my youngest sister (NOT Little Sis) while using the least amount of cuss words, thus I haven't been able to think about much else!! *** Warning: If a few cuss words escape during this post, don't take it personally. Anyway, I don't want to get into the stupid details of my sister and her stupid choices, but I did send a message to the God of all Myspace pages reporting some "Inappropriate Activity."

Little Sis, the good sister, sent me a little message today about an article she read (while at work) about Americans wasting their time during work hours surfing the internet . . . apparently if I don't write each day, she is not able to waste the allotted 20% of her day, so since I still can't think of anything to write about that even remotely resembles an interesting read, I decided I would tell you about ME! Today is your lucky day . . .

1. I pursued a degree in Counseling because I am very damn nosy! I now, however, realize that I have enough drama and I don't need to get paid to keep track of the drama of others. I think I'll stick with teaching, and besides, kids can dish the drama. FYI Parents: If you don't want the teacher to know, don't say it in front of the children.

2. I love Mixed Berry Skittles, the purple bag, and I always have to eat my Skittles in matching pairs. (I know, you can sleep better now that you know this . . . yada, yada, yada!!)

3. I NEVER take the top lid in a restaurant. I don't want one that the person before me touched!

4. Speaking of being out in public, I never flush a public toilet with my hands . . . I always use my foot (that is if I can't wait until I get home to use the restroom.)

5. I always have to face the front door in any restaurant . . . I must know who is coming and going.

6. I drive with my doors unlocked because I'll be damned if I am going to be stuck in my car should it catch on fire or should I drive into a river!

7. I think the best invention is the Starbucks Drive Thru! A close second are Crayola Color Wonder markers. The worst invention has to be Crayola Color Explosion markers!

8. My favorite color is purple. Well, actually my favorite color is 18 karat gold, but purple is cheaper!

9. I always read the directions on my shampoo bottles and toothpaste tubes. Did you know there are trivia questions on the Herbal Essences bottle?

10. Though I strongly dislike math, I can solve ALMOST any math problem in my head faster than I can find a calculator. (It's all about the base ten method!!)

11. I can open a Starburst with just my mouth. (Yes, I can tie a cherry stem too, now stop!)

12. I am a sucker for nice packaging . . . this is not related to #11 so bring your mind to the surface! Seriously, I will buy almost anything if it is packaged attractively. Umm okay, moving on . . .

13. I love Madonna's 80's music . . . I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through, didn't know how lost I was until I found you . . .

14. I hate tanning lotion with bronzer . . . it always streaks my legs . . . and to the perky little tanning salon girl who tried to tell me, "Oh, it couldn't have streaked, it's never done that before," you better hope I don't feel the need to go tanning until I get my letter written because I am saving up all of my cuss words!

15. I really, really, really want to learn how to tap dance!

16. I'm an eyeshadow whore . . . I just can't help myself! I love to buy fun eyeshadow colors . . .which is really fabulous if I would actually wear them, yet everyday I put on the comfort color, Clinique's Double Scoop. Come to think of it, I would have so much more room in my bathroom drawer if I sold my eyeshadow collection on ebay, moreover, I would be able to afford my Clinique!!

17. My sister is goofy and I hope this list helped to satisfy her 20% quota of wasted time!!

Your turn, tell me about you.

Just stopping by . . .

2007-07-24T11:49:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel I've got to (clap, clap) run away,

I've got to (clap, clap) get away . . .

This song doesn't really have anything to do with my post today (since I really don't know yet what I am going to write about . . . ) but I heard it on the radio yesterday and was reminded of how much I like it. I remember, back when I was a night club girl for a short phase in my life, they used to play some remix version of this song, and I used to get so irritated, because why ruin a good song with record scratching and extra crazy beats?! Oh well, atleast it was fun to dance to, which by the way I don't have an ounce of rhythm in my body, but anything is possible with a "little" bit of alcohol. Did I ever tell you the Goldschlager story? Well, that's a story for another day . . . .

Soooooo, where was I ? Oh, that's right, I have no idea . . . just feel the need to write . . . So what's been going on over here in this crazy house? Hmmmm . . .

. . . Mr. Egypt and I were watching My Super Ex-Girlfriend the other night . . . what a silly movie, especially the shark scene, oh dear . . . when we were interrupted by the shrill and torturous screams of Mr. Too Smart being attacked and carried away by 17 Bazillion biting spiders!!! We ran to his room to try to save him only to find that he was just FIGHTING WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND AGAIN!!!!! Too bad, taking on 17 Bazillion biting spiders would have made a great story! Oh please, I am begging you Mr. Too Smart, move on already!!!

Taking my own advice and moving on . . .

. . . Charming Child woke up this morning to find that all of the ants from the Greater Sacramento area had taken up camp in the formal living room AKA her stage/gymnastics floor. Before I could take care of the ants, she vacuumed them up!! Now, the ants are probably sitting in the vacuum bag, plotting a way to burst through and take over the house! I think I am going now to remove the bag and throw it away, or quite possibly burn it because I hate those little itchy things. I hate the way they just invite themselves in to the house whenever they get tired of being outside, and if it isn't bad enough that they bring themsleves, they bring their entire extended family as well . . . oh, nevermind, you get the point!

Well, I guess the bottom line is, nothing exciting has been going on over here in this small section of the world . . . I just wanted to say "Hi!"

Teenage Love

2007-07-19T22:16:00.000-07:00

Mr. Too Smart has been fighting with his girlfriend over the phone for like three weeks now, seriously!!

This is all I have heard from this boy in forever . . . "I don't trust you. I love you. Don't ever break a promise again. I love you. Your word means nothing to me because you keep lying. I love you. You're being stupid. I love you. Why are you in a bad mood? I love you." and so on and so on and so on!

Okay, I know, been there done that . . . it's hard to walk away from your first "real" relationship, but I am really a few inches away from solving the problem myself by simply banging their two sweet little heads together, hard!

Does anyone have a box to put over my head?

That's all . . .

Flip-Flop Challenge

2007-07-18T17:02:00.000-07:00

I think that children are just the most fascinating individuals . . . I would like to introduce you to one such fascinating individual, meet my friend Ibeebarbie's daughter, Princess . . . This little girl fascinates me for many reasons, join me as I share a few of those reasons . . .

I know what you're thinking, Princess, "I can't believe you are about to tell those stories!"

Don't worry, I won't embarrass you!

First and foremost, she is the ONLY person who can put Charming Child in her place. When Princess says jump, Charming Child does indeed ask, "How high?" If I ask Charming Child to jump, she says, with her infamous attitude, "Why don't you jump?" Charming Child and Princess are just the best of friends when they are together, and I have so much fun watching their interactions. Princess really brings out some of Charming Child's best qualities . . .

Princess always finds humor in every situation . . .

Princess has excellent skills in Dentistry . . . .

She even takes my insurance . . .

She loves to play and have fun . . .
. . . but, when she's finished, don't try to disturb her . . . in other words, she sets clear boundaries which should be obeyed by all!

Last night, Charming Child and I went to eat dinner and drink coffee with Princess and Ibeebarbie, and I must admit, I have added yet another item to my list of things that fascinate me about Princess . . .

. . . she wears her Flip-Flops comfortably on the wrong feet!! I know that may not sound very fascinating, but have you ever tried to do this? It's not easy!! Trust me, we all tried last night . . . Ibeebarbie was able to walk a short distance across the parking lot with her flip-flops flipped, Charming Child was able to walk a few feet before she almost fell down and cracked her head open on the pavement, I was not even able to get my flip-flops to go on the wrong feet!

I challenge you, flip flop your flip-flops and see how far you can get!!

Little Sis, This One Is For You . . .

2007-07-17T23:14:00.000-07:00

Here's to your future . . . Meet Baby Girl Eaton, and . . .

. . . Baby Boy Eaton!!

Want to see what you'll look like when you're older, or what you would look like if you were half chimp? Check it out . . . Face Transformer

Attention All Theatre Directors

2007-07-16T21:53:00.001-07:00

Are you looking to cast the next Rapunzel? I CAN'T sing and I CAN'T dance, but I have the hair!!!

I could probably remember the line, "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long hair." Oh wait, that wouldn't be my line . . . Well, did I mention that I have the hair?!

P.S. I am going to be starting tap lessons soon (because I HAVE lost my mind, before you ask,) so MAYBE in 6 months to 20 years, I MIGHT be able to 'Shuffle, Step'!

Two Months, But Who's Counting . . . AKA 'Houston, Do We Have A Dress Yet?'

2007-07-14T20:03:00.000-07:00

In just two months from today, Little Sis will be getting married, so I am writing today as a subtle reminder to her to PICK OUT A DRESS! Any subliminal messages (did you decide on a dress yet?) she receives while reading this post are merely coincidence (only two months)!! Come to think of it, (which dress are you going to choose?) I have not heard any mention of what Mr. Groom is going to wear (did you pick a dress?) so I hope it has crossed their minds that he should be dressed at the blessed event as well.

So, Little Sis, in TWO MONTHS, the two of you will be joined together forever, and you will look beautiful in your DRESS, and he will look handsome in whatever he wears, which hopefully will be something, and all of the napkins will be put to good use, especially if you spill something on your DRESS, and the candles will come in handy if we happen to lose electricity, because we all want to be able to still see your DRESS, and the chocolate, well in TWO MONTHS and one day, you can spill all of the chocolate all over your DRESS because you won't need to wear it again!! (Have you decided on a dress yet?)

I love you guys!!

Family Fun

2007-07-13T23:55:00.000-07:00

I am at a loss for words tonight, so I thought I would share some pictures of Family Fun! I hope you enjoy . . . (Top to Bottom) Charming Child, My Dad, Little Sis, My Mom.

It seems as if I have misplaced the picture of myself sticking my face on pins! Oh well . . .

Bite With Extreme Caution

2007-07-11T23:45:00.000-07:00

Martha Stewart came to my house today in the form of my child . . . she made dessert. It was very thoughtful of her, and the recipe was quite imaginative.

While Martha was here, she concocted an ice cream cone with melted chocolate chips at the bottom, then added marshmallows. Next she added a chocolate dipped strawberry and poured melted chocolate chips over the top. Finally, she garnished the entire dessert with four marshmallows. I was very happy with her work, and she was equally as happy!

She delivered my cone to me and said, "Be careful where you bite, I didn't take the green thing off of the strawberry because I wouldn't have had anything to hold when I dipped it if I took it off."

Ummm okay, so maybe it wasn't Martha after all, but at least she cleaned up her mess, which is a miracle in itself!

Catch a tiger by the toe . . .

2007-07-10T13:13:00.000-07:00

I don't think I'll be receiving the award for Best Sister, or Best Supporting Role this year. Little Sis sent me pictures of the two wedding dresses she has narrowed down to, and after I told her which one I liked the best, which by the way, was different than the one I liked the best yesterday, so I can understand her dilemma in choosing a dress, I'm pretty sure I told her to play Eeny Meeny Miney Moe to pick a dress. Now that I think about it, that probably wasn't the most sensitive thing I could have done. She doesn't seem upset, but it definitely wasn't my best moment as the Big Sister!

Come on Big Sis, Dish the Dirt!!

2007-07-07T23:01:00.000-07:00

Just the other day I had the pleasure of speaking with a background investigator for the Santa Clara County Police Department about my little brother. Apparently my brother has decided he doesn't like it when it's hot, so he decided to switch gears from the Fire Department to the Police Department . . . after the weather we've had lately, I can't say I blame him!

I spent over an hour on the phone with this Investigator answering all sorts of questions about my brother and his life. Here's the bad part . . . the little shit has never been in trouble one second of his life!! I know it really is a good thing that he has never been in trouble, but we're talking about ME here, and MY conversation with Mr. Investigator! The guy probably thought, "Oh, let me call the big sister, she'll surely rat out Mr. Perfection!" So, I answered all of the questions . . . .any problems with friends? NO. any problems with family members? NO. any problems in school? NO. any problems with drugs? NO and to top it off, he doesn't even drink! any problems with other cultures? NOPE, lives in a culturally diverse household, and he's bilingual! any problems with people who choose alternative lifestyles? NO. and so on and so on for an hour!! I'm sure the guy was thinking, "Okay woman, we see you want him to get the damn job, but come on, he has to have some problems!!" any problems within the family that may distract him? EUREKA!!!! Now here's a question that I can answer in more than one word!! "Well, our little ***sister has a lot of problems with school (not going) and drugs (taking too many) and her attitude (for crying out loud, don't even get me started!) , bbbbbuuuutttttt, I don't think Dean involves himself in her issues, soooooooo, I guess the answer is NO!!! (but please pretty please give him the job so he can arrest her invincible little ass!)" ***This is not the same sister as Little Sis, just so we're clear!

( I really wanted to post a picture of Mr. Soon-to-be -making-more-money -than-me, but I can't find one at the moment that is easy to post (you all know the hate-hate relationship I have with blogger and picture posting!) so you'll just have to imagine . . . remember the little boy from the movie The Three Amigos? The one with the curly hair? Well , he looks like that, just about 20 years older now.

Anyway, after Mr Investigator finished interrogating me, I had a few questions of my own, because I am oh so nosy!! I asked him how many people he has to contact for each applicant (20-40) and who he contacts. He mentioned that sometimes they go back to Elementary School teachers, which made me think, "What would I say about some of my former students if Mr. Investigator ever called me about them?"

Here are some of my thoughts -I'm going to use real names, so please don't look them up and stalk them :) . . .

Taurean - He'll be great, as long as you let him write his police reports while lying on the ground tossing his pencil up in the air!

Omar - He'll be wonderful as long as he doesn't ever have to comfort anyone as his voice can scare a bear out of the woods!

Joseph - He'll be a great asset as long as you don't get sand in his hair as that may throw him into a tizzy!

Aejonna- Oh, you'll love her, as long as you don't make her do anything boring, as boring things cause her stomach to ache.

Jayme- She'll be fantastic, as long as you let her be in charge of EVERYTHING!

Savannah - She'll be marvelous as long as you have all of the time in the world to wait for her as she does everything in slow motion while breaking her pink eraser into tiny itty bitty pieces!

Oh, I could go on and on . . .all of my past students have something special about them I could conjure up if I needed to!! I just wish them the best of luck in their future endeavors, and I hope they all know that I would help them get the job any day (so I don't have to pay for them to be on welfare!!!) Love you guys!!! And, Dean, I love you too!!

It's hard to believe we were that STUPID once (three weeks ago)!!

2007-07-06T23:05:00.000-07:00

I over heard this conversation tonight while I was driving and Charming Child and her friend were in the backseat trying to keep themselves entertained . . .

CC: Hey, remember when we played Double Double at recess last year? Do you want to play now?

Friend: That game was stupid!

CC: Yea, we did some pretty stupid things in Fourth Grade!

I'll take a red taper with my napkin, please!!

2007-07-05T23:31:00.000-07:00

Before I return to my regularly scheduled program, I just have to ask, does anyone out there watch 'So You Think You Can Dance?' Ummm, okay I don't either, but apparently the guy in the picture below is pretty darn popular on the show. I don't even remember his name, Dominic, or Dante, I don't know, but he performed at a dance recital we went to and Charming Child and her friends were all too excited to have a picture taken with him ( I think there was even some mention of, "Oh my gosh, I am never going to wash this shirt again!!") So here you have it . . . Mr. Popular Dance Guy, Charming Child, and her friends!!

Regularly Scheduled Program . . . Mom and Dad went on their annual trip to Alaska a few weeks ago, but when they were booking their trip, it momentarily slipped their minds that they had a new child!! They assumed I would drop everything and stay at their house with their beloved dog for a week . . . nice try Mom and Dad (although I did have to do a few days of duty!) Little Sis, after some begging and pleading on my part, graciously decided to come out to California form Utah during Mom and Dad's thoughtfully and thouroughly planned trip, to dog sit!! She decided to bring along her future sister-in-law, who also happens to be Charming Child's pen pal and partner in crime during Little Sis's wedding . . . we thought it would be the ideal time for the two girls to meet for the first time, so we would know whether or not they could stand each other, and whether or not we needed to place one of them in an new position during the wedding!!

Dog Sitting, Cat Sitting and Fish Sitting, piece of cake, right? After all, Mom left post-it notes ALL OVER THE HOUSE, with instructions . . .

Okay, seriously, how in the world does Mom know the fish is "ALWAYS HUNGRY"?

Anyway, taking care of Jackson would be a piece of cake, he's just a puppy, how much trouble can he possibly be? Well, Little Sis forgot that he was Mom and Dad's little puppy, which means SPOILED ROTTEN!! Although Little Sis shouldn't complain because her beloved puppy is just as, if not more, spoiled . . . the only difference . . . about 50 pounds!!!

See, Jackson still thinks he weighs as much as he did when he looked like this . . .

. . . .but, he now looks like this . . .

. . . and, sometimes like this . . .

. . . and he doesn't realize that when he comes tearing through the living room and up and over the side of the couch, hurling himself at you at full speed, he can cause injuries like this . . .

. . . or when he dances around the damn kitchen because you don't open the treat bag fast enough, he can cause injuries like this . . .

. . . Aside from the injuries, Little Sis and Jackson just didn't see eye to eye . . . Little Sis thought that maybe she should be able to get ready in the bathroom without interruptions, Jackson thought he should be able to stand up to the bathroom sink to get a drink of water like his Mommy and Daddy let him! Little Sis thought that maybe Jackson should not chew things that didn't belong to him, Jackson thought, "if you leave it out, it's fair game!" Little Sis thought she would be nice and take him on a nice jaunt through the neighborhood, Jackson thought he would run full speed through the neighborhood, peeing on every possible tree, and leaving Little Sis's hands blistered from the leash! Most of all, Little Sis thought it would be nice to have a good night's sleep each night, Jackson thought, "As long as there is a stranger in my Mom and Dad's bed, I'm going to stay awake all night, every night until they return!"

I believe my sister uttered the words "Devil Dog" to Mom and Dad upon their arrival!!

Little Sis's trip wasn't all about Dog Sitting . . .we did go on some fun adventures, like to San Francisco and the Jelly Belly Factory. We took close to one million trillion pictures, so here is my favorite . . .

Here's Little Sis (on the right) showing her excitement for In 'N' Out Burger . . .

We also had a glorious day when Charming Child had an all day rehearsal for her musical, so we decided to do some shopping for Little Sis's upcoming infamous wedding. I will list all that we accomplished because I don't want to wear out my comma key . . .

1) Bought 6 packages of red napkins
2)Bought 6 packages of silver napkins (which she doesn't really like because they kind of look gray, but, "they'll do!")
3)Bought 1 dozen black tapers (which she probably won't use because she doesn't have the right kind of candleholders, but, "they'll come in handy someday!")
4)Bought 1 dozen red tapers (which she probably won't use because she doesn't have the right kind of candleholders, but, "they'll come in handy someday!")
5)Bought 10 billion pounds of special melting chocolate for the chocolate fountain, because they don't have this kind of chocolate anywhere in Utah, (which her fiance promptly left in the car all day after she came home and it melted into a puddle at the bottom of the suitcase!)

Yep, that's it . . . that's all we got accomplished!! How does the saying go . . ."It's the thought that counts!" Atleast we THOUGHT about accomplishing a lot of wedding stuff!!

Membership Denied!!

2007-06-29T23:21:00.000-07:00

When Charming Child was much younger, I tried to always listen to kiddie music when in the car, I thought it was the responsible thing to do . . . but, sometimes 'Wee Sing Silly Songs' just grated on my nerves and I had to listen to regular radio. I tried though, to wait until she was asleep before changing the music, and I thought I was successful at doing so until the day I dropped her off at preschool, at age four, and all through the parking lot she sang, "I'm a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way!" Thank you, Christina Aguilera!! Yes, thank you Miss Christina, because after all, she was the one who always pressed eject the second the eyelids on the young child closed, uh huh!!! So, that day, after school, I once again played 'Wee Sing Silly Songs' and quite possibly we listened to 'Wee Sing Bible Songs.'

Then as she started getting older, we listened to less and less of the kiddie music. I had to keep up with all of the parents who let their children listen to regular music, as I didn't want CC to feel deprived when all of her friends knew all of the latest lyrics to the most popular songs (and quite frankly because I had about all of 'There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly' that I could take!!)

For the past few years, each time we get in the car, we turn up the radio and sing along . . .I am pretty sure CC knows every word to every song on our station . . . but, it wasn't until just recently that I realized that not only does she know every word, she is also starting to recognize that the songs usually tell stories too. See, before, I think she just sang whatever words were part of the song without realizing they had any meaning. The other day she was singing along to the song . . .well, I don't exactly know the name of the song or who sings it, I think it's 'Beautiful Girl' . . . you know the one that says, "You're way too beautiful girl. That's why it'll never work. You'll have me suicidal, suicidal, when you say it's over . . ." (or something like that . . . I'm not willing to risk waking up the sleeping child just to make sure I have the lyrics correct!) So, she singing along and dancing along and singing some more, and she asks, "What does suicidal mean?"

Then tonight, here's the kicker . . . we're driving to the opening night show of 'Annie Get Your Gun', enjoying the car ride, listening to the music . . . she's reading the inside cover of her new Hannah Montana CD and commenting on how sweet it is that Miss Montana/Cyrus dedicated her album to her Grandpa, when she starts singing the new song, 'I Wanna Be a Rockstar'. Everything was great, peaceful, beautiful . . . then she asks, "What is the Mile High Club?"

So, you'll be happy to know, I did what any responsible parent would do, any responsible parent who would rather tell their child the truth than have them hear it on the playground . . . I took a deep breath (or ten thousand) and told her, "It's the club you can join after you have gone skydiving!"

Rest assured that tomorrow when we go on our Saturday outing, we will be happily listening to 'Wee Sing Bible Songs'!!

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

Little ones to Him belong, we are weak, but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me.

Yes, Jesus loves me.

The Bible tells me so.

Oh, is that what they were saying . . .

2007-06-27T20:57:00.000-07:00

I promise you there is a post about Little Sis coming soon, but, not tonight because you see, it requires me to post pictures and I do not have enough wine in my house right now to relax me enough to be able to deal with uploading pictures!!! Soooooooooo, for now, I have yet another theater story for you, well it's kind of a theater story, well whatever it is, it is sure to be exciting . . . this is when all of the non-gullible people log off . . .

Last night Charming Child and I went to a gourmet food party, forty-five minutes away from home might I add . . . okay, honestly who cares how far away from home you have to go to get free food, free gourmet food!! So what if the cost of the gas you spent to get to the free food is way more than driving one mile to the "gourmet" Taco Bell to buy your own food . . . sometimes you just have to go out on a limb! So, we drive through the mountains and finally get to the house, park on the street and walk up the driveway, which I am not kidding is as steep and as tall as Half Dome (which by the way, I have hiked before, though not when hungry!) CC and I trek up the driveway, and halfway there she says, "Are you sure this is the right house?" I say, "I really don't care if this is the right house or not at this point, whoever answers the door is feeding us!!" Seriously, anyone who can make it to the top of this driveway deserves a free meal!!

Well, we did indeed make it to the top, and it was the right house, and the food was fabulous!! We stayed for a few hours, then made our way to the front and as we were saying goodbye to the gracious hostess, her husband came home with their seven year old daughter and her (I believe, seven year old) friend. The girls got out of the car and we said hi to the daughter, and just then, her friend, whom I have never seen in my life, says to me, "Hey, I remember you."

"You remember me?'

"Yes, I remember your hair."

"Where do you remember my hair from?'

"From the show."

"Oh, did you see Spyquest?"

"Yes, and I remember your hair from when you were standing outside."

"I am so glad you saw Spyquest. Did you like it?"

"Yep, I really liked the song 'I need some coffee and a paper cut.' "

And, this is about the time when I laughed so hard, I almost rolled all the way to the basin of Half Dome!!

After several weeks of listening to the music from Spyquest, I guess I just assumed that everyone knew the words to the songs from the musical. So, if this little girl got 'I need some coffee and a paper cut' out of 'Come get your coffee in a paper cup' I wonder what everyone else heard?? Hmmmm . . . . Oh, out of the mouths of babes!

The Final Curtain Has Closed . . .

2007-06-25T19:05:00.001-07:00

. . . so, I will leave you with more show pictures while I go find a damn box!!! Oh wait, first I need your help . . . look at the picture below . . . Does anyone out there know how that orange paint got on the floor right inside the door of CC's room, since paint is not allowed in the house due to the spot of blue paint inside CC's room, because not one person in my house has a freakin' clue how that paint got on the floor?? Please help me solve the mystery!!!!!

Okay, now for the show pictures . . . Enjoy!

Charming Child and a friend from school.

Friends and Cousins and Castmates, oh my!!

More flowers!

CC giving an autograph to a fan (her cousin!)

CC, Aunties, and Cousin, all facing the sun!

Final Cast Call

Pumped up and ready to go . . . one last time!

Unauthorized, blurry stage shot during the final performance! Charming Child is the orange blur behind the right hand of the blue blur on the floor towards the center of the picture!

Unauthorized, not-so-blurry stage shot. Don't spend a lot of time looking for CC . . . she wasn't in this scene!

Final, unauthorized, blurry stage shot . . . (CC wasn't in this scene either.)

Soooooo, any clue on how the orange paint got on the floor???? Stay tuned . . . Little Sis' Dogsitting Misadventures Coming Soon!

P.S. Why do all of these pictures look all perfectly spaced apart and the captions are all perfectly centered to the right of the picture in the preview, then when I hit "Publish" they get all screwed up???!!! THERE HAS GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY TO POST PICTURES!!! Sharing our lives with strangers on the web should not be this difficult!!!

Does anyone have a box to donate before I lose my ever-loving mind??!!

2007-06-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow the nine show run of Spyquest will close . . . oh, what will I do with my time? Quite possibly, I may finally write the posts I've been saving in my head (which is swiftly running out of room.) You'll want to return as I have so much to tell you about Little Sis and her trip to California to dog sit Mom and Dad's beloved dog! Trust me, you'll want to stick around for that story!!

For now, I just thought I would share this bedtime conversation that took place the other night at midnight. Yes, midnight!! I have no idea why the child was still up at midnight, all I know is she came in my room at midnight and interrupted an episode of The Cosby Show to have this conversation with me, all while she is halfway hyperventilating and stretching her skin from her forehead down to her chin all for dramatic effect:

CC: I have so much to do . . . I have to clean my room and get rid of all of the babyish stuff even though I still like to play with it I have to get rid of all of it so I have more room in my bedroom!

Me: Okay

CC: What should I do? I have to get rid of all of the babyish toys even though I still like to play with them I have to get rid of them! (Still hyperventilating)

Me: I think you should go to bed and think about it while you sleep.

CC: Just tell me what to do. I can't sleep because I have to clean my room and get rid of all of the babyish stuff even though I still like to play with it!

Me: I AM NOT GOING TO THINK ABOUT IT UNTIL AFTER SUNDAY, SO GO TO BED, Please!

(She stomps off to bed)

Fast forward five minutes . . .

CC: Can I take the bookshelf out of my closet and put it under my window so I have more room in my closet?

Me: Sure, but I am not going to help you until after Sunday.

CC: I don't need help, but what should I do with all of the old kiddie books that I don't read anymore?

Me: I don't know, I told you I wasn't going to deal with this until after Sunday.

CC: But where do you want me to put all of the old books, do you want to save them?

Me: I really don't have the brain for this right now, can we please talk about this on Sunday?

CC: You don't need to have a brain, just tell me, do you want me to box them up so you can save them?

Me: OKAY, FINE, YES, BOX THEM UP SO I CAN SAVE THEM!!!!

CC: I don't have a box.

"Before I speak, I have a few things to say!"

2007-06-17T22:17:00.000-07:00

Inhale . . . Exhale . . . Inhale . . . .Exhale . . . Inhale . . . Exhale . . . Excuse me while I take the first few breaths I have had time to take in the past few weeks! I have missed my blog so much the past few weeks, but I have only had time to either breathe or blog, so I chose to breathe!!

Back in April I posted about Charming Child preparing for her BIG audition, which by the way she completely freaked out about when we got to the audition and didn't audition for any lead parts, I digress . . . well, it is now the middle of June (Happy Father's Day to all of the Dad's out there) and we have just completed half of the nine show run of the musical Spyquest:An Agent 006 1/2 Adventure, presented by El Dorado Musical Theatre. So, I am now breathing because I have a three day break from singing and dancing and backstage monitoring!! We will be doing our last four shows next week, with closing night on June 23. (Don't you just love how I say "we" as if I'm on stage singing and dancing my little behind off like the kids??!!)

I have spent a lot of time lately questioning the decision to let Charming Child sign up for this musical . . . it has been a lot of work, from driving back and forth to and from rehearsals, to volunteering my time to fill various volunteer positions to help the show run smoothly, but now that I have seen the final result of all of the hard work, I would do it again in a heartbeat!

This truly has been an experience of a lifetime . . . Charming Child has met a lot of great children, I have made a lot of new friends, CC has gained a great deal of confidence in herself, and most of all she has had fun while learning responsibility. To top it off, the show is absolutely fabulous!!!! El Dorado Musical Theatre is most definitely, as their motto states, "Youth theatre at its best!"

I am going to end with some photos of the children (that are seriously in no particular order because I think it is less painful to get a root canal with no anesthesia than to post pictures with blogger, so since I am still trying to catch my breath, I will just be happy that I got them to post and not worry about putting them in the right order), some onstage, but mostly backstage fun . . . . (By the way, the title of this post is one of my favorite lines from the musical . . . this line is spoken by the evil Dr. Malaprop when he is stating his plan to rid the world of coffee.)

Charming Child and her friend backstage before opening night.

(Magically, her shirt and headband actually appear to match when she is onstage . . . oh the wonderful world of Hollywood tricks!!)

Charming Child hanging out in the dressing room, exhausted as can be!!

Charming Child and the Phenomenal female lead!

Onstage . . .

Listening intently to the Director's lecture . . . notice how intently the boy in the yellow and green is listening.

Charming Child and her first bouquet of flowers from fans . . . Thank you Ibeebarbie and family!

Thank Goodness for Science on a Dark Night . . .

2007-06-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

The school year is coming to a close in a few short days. I don't know about the rest of you out there who run your life based on a school year, but this "year", for me, seemed to fly by!

Charming Child completed her final Science test of the year the other day and passed with a 97%!! Hooray!! While looking over her test, I found the following note on the back (I am copying it just as I am reading it, except of course for the names)

Dear Mrs. Science Teacher,

What I like about Science is that I learn stuff I would not know without Science. Also it is fun and it will come in handy sometime when the powers goes out I will know how to wire a lightbulb.

Something I would like to be changed is that when we are wachting movies I think we shouldn't have to write because we miss stuff because we are writing and remember stuff more when I just focuse on that. Please take some of my changes in to conciteration.

From, Charming Child

Imagine my relief when I put two and two together and realized that when she asked for covered wire and a D-Cell battery the other day, that she just simply wanted to wire a lightbulb and not, well you know, do away with anything, like the house for example!! I love school!!

Have a great day!

Now, Here's A Girl Who Is Going Somewhere . . .

2007-06-01T22:46:00.000-07:00

Unlike her brother, Charming Child has always struggled a bit in school. Mostly she struggles with Language Arts, which makes me just absolutely crazy because L.A. was always my strength. She tries so hard though, because she is so motivated to do well, remember she is convinced she'll be attending Yale, but still she struggles.

She has, however, taught me a lot since she started Kindergarten (she's now in Fourth Grade) . . . lessons that I can carry with me forever. For example, there are multiple ways to spell the word 'cousin' and it is perfectly fine to use all of the multiple spellings in one essay! She has taught me new words such as 'tooken' and 'brang' and 'teached'! Finally, she has taught me that if you try to spell a word phonetically, and you sound it out V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y, you can create many different sounds, thus adding more letters to the word . . . try it with the word 'friend' . . . it turns into 'fuhrenduh'! See, isn't that fun? This last lesson is why I am absolutely flabbergasted that I still see the words 'becase' and 'relly' repeatedly on every single High Frequency Word test!!

In education, baby steps are so wonderful! They just make you want to sing to the world . . . trust me on this! You know when your precious little, oh let's say, Sally, starts Pre-school, you get so excited when she learns to recognize the words 'a' and 'I' . . . then in Kindergarten, you are so thrilled because Sally can write her name and the letters don't resemble swimming sperm as much as they did in Pre-school . . . then in First Grade it is spectacular when Sally can form words into written sentences . . . then in Second Grade it is wonderful when Sally learns to read fluently . . . then in Third Grade it is amazing when, not only can Sally read fluently, she can also comprehend what she is reading, as well as respond in writing about the reading . . . then in Fourth Grade you can just jump for joy and sing to the world when little Sally can write this paragraph (I use the word 'paragraph' loosely) . . .

"We have a new boy in our class. He is a foster child. I feel sorry for him, but he is mean to me. I think he likes me, my teacher thinks so too."

. . . I know, you're asking yourself, "What is so great about that paragraph?" Well, I 'll tell you . . . notice the very last word, the word 'too' . . . IT IS USED PROPERLY, AS IN ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Hang on, I'm jumping and singing!!!)

I found this paragraph in C.C.'s journal, that she left face-up and open in my car, which means it is free to read! I was so impressed, as she has struggled with the concept of 'to, two, and too' as well as 'there, their, and they're' for the past TWO years.

Watch out Yale, she's on her way!

Baby Steps!

Almost NOT Class of 2007!

2007-05-31T13:02:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned before, Too Smart graduated form high school this past Saturday. It was a bittersweet graduation that almost wasn't . . . Mr. Too Smart who has always been the top of his class, since Kindergarten, who at the age of nine aspired to attend MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) to become a computer engineer (even though he has limited usage of the household computers because he crashes them every time he touches them, but I digress), who has tested Post High School on his Standardized tests since Fourth Grade . . .

. . . who this year decided that doing homework wasn't important when you think you are invincible, and who also decided that since his Mom spends so much money on his education, they have to let him graduate (whoever the heck They is), who also got a girlfriend and a group of friends who leave a lot to be desired, who decided it was fun to be disrespectful to his parents and still expect to get his way, because once again, he is invincible . . . need I continue?

It wasn't until Monday of last week when we got the email from his counselor that he was indeed going to graduate . . .so the day was a bit bittersweet. The hardest part, for me anyway, was listening to all of the accomplishments of the graduates who had earned high honors and awards, and were off to great colleges, knowing Mr. Too Smart could have been one of them. Unfortunately his choices created a life lesson for himself, learned the hard way, in my opinion. Nonetheless, he graduated and we love him, most of the time, except when he lies to all of us about who is supposed to pick him up because at the age of 18 he still has no desire to get his driver's license, and who I believe to be the only 18 year old on the face of this planet who has a car already, yet still has no desire to get a driver's license!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I guess he expects his Mommy to drive him to college next year, oh wait, he may not be attending college next year, not even a Junior College, because he has not taken the time to register . . .Okay, let me stop now, because I could go on and on and on!

I'll end with some pictures of the day . . . his step-dad took great pictures because he got up close and personal to the stage while I sat in my seat blubbering over the speeches, especially the one given by the Valedictorian who graduated with an Honors GPA of 4.87 . . . I literally almost fell over the balcony when I heard that - Way to go! Until I get the CD of the good pictures, you'll have to bear with mine . . Enjoy!

Here is the backdrop of the stage that I just had
to get a picture of, blurry or not, so we could all remember for the rest of our lives where all of the money went for the past four years!

Here is the sea of red . . . he's in there somewhere!

Here they are . . . Charming Child is proud of her big brother no matter what, and in this picture she is thinking, "Please hurry because I need to get home before he does, if he's coming over, so I can put his DVD player back in his room, so he doesn't beat me up!"

The above picture was supposed to post over to the left so there would be a pattern, but it didn't, and blogger is really getting on my nerves, so this will be the last picture today . . . Me, the blubbering maniac, and Mr. Too Smart, wondering if I'll drive him to Grad Night, and possibly pay for it too, since he didn't register on time!!
(Does anyone have any suggestions for chin exercises? If so, email me!)

P.S. The camera is intact!

2007-05-31T10:14:00.000-07:00

Will someone please take a census already??!!

2007-05-29T20:50:00.000-07:00

I was going to write about the high school graduation of Too Smart For His Own Britches (Charming Child's brother, for those of you who may not remember), but 1) I don't feel like going to my car to get the camera that holds the graduation pictures, that I threw on the floorboard in a mere moment of "slight" anger, 2) I don't feel like going to get the camera because I don't want to know if I broke it, or not, and 3) graduation was a bittersweet day, and I am still trying to gather my thoughts and feelings about the whole day, but mostly because I don't want to know whether or not I broke my camera. I do promise, the graduation post, with pictures (because I know I didn't damage the memory card) is coming soon.

So instead, I would like to know, are there any Young and the Restless fans out there? For those of you that may not know, Y & R is a Soap Opera that takes place in a city called Genoa City, and for all I know, the city has a population of about twenty, and all twenty people are somehow related! Am I right, all of you Y & R fans?

Seriously, let me give you an example . . .Jack Abbott, son of John Abbott, was at one time married to Nikki Newman, which meant he was Victoria and Nick Newman's stepfather, then had a brief encounter with some woman whom I do not rememember her name as she is no longer on the show, but they had a son, whom I also do not remember his name as he is also no longer on the show, anyway, who cares what happenend in between, Jack is now married to Sharon Newman, Nick's ex-wife, and is now the stepfather of his ex-stepson's son, while Nick Newman is married to Phyllis, who happens to be Jack's ex!! Are you still with me? That is eight people all related, just by one person!! The writers must sit around for days trying to figure out how they can make a storyline with the least amount of characters as possible. Talk about cutbacks!! Oh well, it is still my favorite show and has been for the past 16 years . . . .but, seriously, will someone please take a census? I would honestly like to know just how many people reside in Genoa City!

I understand the logic in your advice, but . . .

2007-05-27T21:23:00.001-07:00

Do you ever just find yourself laughing out loud about something that happened in the past? This happens to me more than I can mention, sometimes I even find myself laughing about something that I didn't think was funny at the time, but is now hilarious. Tonight I decided to take a drive to Starbucks to get coffee, and as I was driving, for some reason my mind drifted back to a few days ago, to a conversation the Director of Charming Child's Musical had with the children at the end of rehearsal. Mr. Rick is a fabulous Director, he has an abundant amount of patience and he is so good with the children, they all love him! Each evening at the end of rehearsal he has a talk with all of the children about what they did great on, what they need to improve on, how proud he is of them, and then he allows them to ask questions. Usually the questions consist of silly little thoughts that the children conjure up just for the sake of being able to speak, such as, "I know I just asked you this at snack time, but do you know when the auditions are for the electronic voice?" To which Mr. Rick responds, "I didn't know an hour ago and I still don't know, but I promise just as I have promised you the last ten thousand times you have asked, you will be the first one to know when I find out!"
Mr. Rick also recently learned that when you are dealing with 72 children from ages 6 - 11, it is best not to mention 'pants on fire' as this could set the children off on a tangent for a half an hour!! A child asked a question about messing up his lines during the performance and Mr. Rick responded, "Don't worry about it, just keep going. Even if your pants catch on fire, just keep going!" You can imagine what happened next . . . 30 minutes of every possible scenario of pants catching on fire, my favorite though was, "What happens if the audience's pants catch on fire?" Mr. Rick responds, "Well, we will simply ask the audience to step outside, remove their pants, then kindly come back in very quietly as to not disturb all of you who are continuing your lines!"
So, this brings us to this past Thursday, end of rehearsal, Mr. Rick vs. the 72 children . . . Mr. Rick explains that it is a three-day weekend, which means it will be five days before practice, so he wants them to practice their lines and songs at home using the CD that the Music Director so kindly made each of them. He offers the suggestion to listen to the CD with Mom and Dad, teach them the songs and sing them together. "It will be a lot of fun! Mom and dad will realize how hard you have been working, they'll be really proud of you," he says. Then the little boy who is dying to be the electronic voice raises his hand. Now this little boy is probably at the far end of the age group, and whenever he speaks I have to remind myself that he is just a child although he sounds as if he is a doctor, seriously!! Teachbroeck, you know those smarty-pants kids, right? So he says, and I promise these are his exact words, and when I thought about them again today, I just had to laugh, "Mr. Rick, I understand the logic in your advice, but the last play I was in, I received the same advice, and I did teach my Mom the songs, and it was a lot of fun, but then during the performance she just WOULD NOT SHUT-UP!!"

Where's Charming Child?

2007-05-25T17:47:00.001-07:00

Can you guess which one of these lovely children belongs to me? I'll post the answer in a few days . . .Don't pick the one with the blonde hair, that's me!! Can't you see the resemblance in me and the painted me (see Mother's Day post below)

I Don't Need a Disposable Toothbrush . . .

2007-05-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had the worst headache . . . it just refused to go away!! At first I thought maybe I needed a caffeine fix, so I trekked on over to Starbucks (one without the major bling episode going on 24 hours a day, every damn day!) and ordered my Iced Grande Extra Ice White Mocha, drank it like a crazy woman, and still had a headache!! Come to think of it, maybe the coffee didn't work because I drank it too fast, hmmm, oh well. Next, I decided that I needed Tylenol desperately, but I was nowhere near my house where I have the Costco sized bottle in the bathroom, so, for the very first time in my entire life (that I can remember) I stopped at a gas station to buy Tylenol!! I have no idea why I think this is a big deal . . . probably for the same reason I get all crazy when I have to use a public restroom because I am too far from home and don't have a change of clothes!

So, I walk into the little convenience store and look around the front wall where they keep all of the drugs, and all I could see was disposable toothbrushes, band-aids and neosporin, and miniature sewing kits . . . oh the horror, I finally get up enough courage to buy Tylenol from the gas station and they don't even have any, and my head is hurting, bad!! I turn to walk out, and there, beside the door, was a whole wall of Pain Relievers . . . I let out a huge sigh of relief, which caused the clerk to look at me, so I went on to tell him all about my headache, because you know, he didn't have anything better to do than listen to me complain! Finally, I had Tylenol, and it even came with a "convenient travel cup" which was basically a small envelope for which one is supposed to pour water in . .. if only I had water!!!!!!!!!

On a side note, I bought myself a pair of sandals yesterday, because I really needed them as much as I really need a hole in my head. Anyway, my sandals are called "Bling!" Now I can wear them everyday to Starbucks!!

Ryles, what did you do for the first time yesterday? Please tell . . .

Beware: Venting Post Below

2007-05-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Certain Patrons of a Certain Starbucks,

2007-05-18T21:52:00.000-07:00

I am going to skip all of the mushy -gushy "How are you?" and "What have you been up to lately?" because frankly I am not interested and I would rather just move on to business (it is now when you should ignore the run-on sentences and grammatical errors!)

Please be advised that Prom is an annual event. Annual means the event happens ONCE per year, usually in the Spring. Prom is also an event strictly for high school students. With that said, please also be advised that it is not necessary to sport your prom attire every single, solitary, freaking time you go to Starbucks to drink coffee! Now, I am not saying you shouldn't be able to dress nicely, because I am all for looking nice when going out of the house, I am simply saying, loud and clear, LEAVE THE PROM DRESSES, SHOES, HAIRSTYLES, JEWELRY, ETC at home when going to partake in a cup of coffee! Now, I am no stranger to bling, in fact I am all for wearing the bling, but please be aware that there is a limit to looking good with bling and just plain looking trashy!

If your intention of sporting your prom attire to Starbucks is to be noticed, let me inform you, everyone within a four block radius of the establishment already knows you are there, prom attire and bling, or not, because you are so damn loud!!!!

I hope that you have a great day!

Love,

A Starbucks Patron Who Is Tired Of Wearing Her Sunglasses To Drink Coffee

P.S. Please also advise your male friends that I am getting tired of seeing my refelection in their patent leather, white dress shoes (worn with jeans nonetheless) everytime I look down towards the ground. Also, it is not necessary to bathe in cologne, once again, we know you are there, we can hear you and every single word of your conversation!!

Love, The Girl Who Relly Appreciates You

2007-05-14T20:27:00.000-07:00

I hope that all of the mom's out there had a fabulous Mother's Day! My day was pretty laid-back (until Little Sis emailed and text messaged with a wedding crisis) Okay, the crisis wasn't that bad, she just needed to be calmed down, however, by the time I received the text message that said to disregard the email, then read the email I was supposed to disregard, then call her, she had already calmed herself down . . . crisis averted!! So anyway, I digress yet again . . . the day was pretty laid back . . . went to breakfast with Mom, drove with her downtown so she knew where to report for jury duty today, managed to get out of going to Ikea with her, but did have to endure some crazy sporting goods store so she could get something for her beloved dog. We then gave her a Mother's Day gift, which was a pair of new slippers to replace the pair that her beloved dog chewed one of . . . so Little Sis and I spent a pretty penny on these fancy-smancy Cabela's slippers, fleece lined suede with hard soles, you know almost like Ugg boots, and she opened them and turned to her beloved dog and said, "Thank you Jackson, Mama likes her new slippers!" Then turned to me and said, "I only needed one!" I then informed her that 1)The slippers weren't from Jackson, the squeaky toy in her face at 7:00 a.m was, and 2) You can't just buy one slipper!!!!!

Now, back to the beginning of the day . . . I was also asked to wake up quite early in the morning by having presents shoved in my face, and if you know me, you know to not mess with me in the morning . . . apparently that slipped Charming Child's ever precious little mind!! Charming Child gave me a hand-painted paper mache` cup and saucer, that I have been informed I cannot drink my coffee in (which is not very helpful so early in the morning), and this beautiful, hand-painted portrait of me (for all of you who have been wondering what I look like!)

Attached to this lovely painting was this (Ryles and Ibeebarbie, make sure you are seated!). . .

You are careing because you take care of me no matter what.

You are funny because you always do something without thinking.

You do your very best to take care of me and you always help everybody. You try to make everybody happy. You drive me everywhere I need to be.

I need you to no I love you.

I hope this makes you feel great because you make me feel great everyday.

Love, The Girl who relly appreciates you

Charming Child

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After I read this letter, I took a few moments to enjoy the sweetness of its contents, then I promptly informed her that the next time she screams at me, I am going to read this to her, over and over and over again!! (Okay, as a teacher I just have to know, how does one charming 10 year old know how to spell "appreciate" and not "really"?! I mean, come on, it's one of the 100 Frequency Words that she should have been taught since First Grade!! Oh nevermind, who cares!)

Here's to hoping all of the Mom's out there had a fabulous day and have a wonderful year!!

It is about the time when I ask myself, "Huh??!!"

2007-05-11T12:57:00.000-07:00

Wow! It is good to be back! I have been without internet for a few weeks, but that is a story for another day, and I am finally back in business! I have missed all of you and I have so much catching up to do!!

I have a million posts, yes literally one million, running through my head, but today I just have to share the dialogue of this "philosophical" conversation I had with Charming Child yesterday. Before I get into the conversation, let me give you a bit of background information . . . Charming Child has a boy in her Fourth grade class who, to put it lightly, has an odd imagination and personality . . . as his art teacher I often have to ask him to ease up a bit on the graphic violence he depicts in his artwork. I mean, seriously, the assignment was to use a ruler to draw a train . . .not, use a ruler to draw a train that is running over someone!! Anyway, I digress . . . This young man, N.K., is also extremely gifted and bright, I mean really smart. N.K. has a young mother, I believe she had him when she was 14, or maybe 15 . . . so, here is our conversation . . .

CC: Hey, you know how N.K. is really smart? And, you know how Rory (from Gilmore Girls) just graduated from Yale, the Ivy "Link" college?

Me: Yes

CC: Well, you know N.K.'s mom had him when she was in high school, and Rory's mom had her when she was in high school too.

Me: Yes

CC: So, I was thinking that maybe they are so smart because when their mom's were pregnant they had to go to school everyday and so they were already learning before they were born.

Me: Huh?

No thank you, I'm not hungry . . . I ate my words for dinner!!

2007-04-24T18:53:00.000-07:00

Charming Child is auditioning for a play on Saturday . . . not just a play at the local community center, but a musical being put on by a pretty reputable theatre company. It is a very exciting time for her, to imagine herself up on stage, acting and singing and dancing, all of the things that come so naturally to her . . . I must admit, I am quite excited myself.

For her audition she has to sing a song, of her choice, for one minute, then perform a dance routine, which she will learn the day of the audition. Today we have spent hours and hours trying to find a song that could be cut down to one minute without sounding crazy. I know, we're cutting it a little short, but you see, that's just the way we function . . . better under pressure!!

So, for those of you that know Charming Child aka Miss Thing, you know that she has a bit of a, well let's say, ATTITUDE PROBLEM!!! Those of you that don't know her have most likely gathered that she has this "little" problem from visiting me here. If you do know her and you don't know about this "little" problem, please contact me so we can arrange for you to spend some one-on-one time with her. Those of you that don't know her and haven't thus far gathered that she has this "little" problem, please feel blessed that writing is not a form of therapy for me, or you would hear it ALL!

Okay, so where was I? Oh yes, the song . . . so, we finally found a song (the song that you are joyfully listening to as you read this.) She sings this song so well, and she even has dance moves to go along with it, which I think is great because otherwise she would look like a singing mannequin up on stage . . . so she was just singing along and dancing along, and I (stupid, stupid, stupid) tell her, "Come on, put a little attitude into it!" And, now, I am no longer hungry . . .

Next time I'll just buy a blender . . .

2007-04-19T14:20:00.000-07:00

I have a beautiful, younger sister whom I love and adore, and I’m not just saying that because I know she’ll read this, I really do love her . . . except for the last few weeks when I have loved and adored her slightly less than usual.

You see, Little Sis is getting married soon, which is a stressful time in a young woman’s life anyway, but take the fact that Little Sis cannot make a decision to save her life, and that just takes the level of stress to a whole new level. I’m talking about CANNOT make a decision . . .this is the girl who will go to a restaurant that she frequents, ask the waiter or waitress ten million questions about the menu, then in the end, order the same thing she always orders because she can’t decide!! (Love you, Little Sis!)

Little Sis has graciously given one of her soon-to-be- sister-in-laws and Charming Child (who are both about the same age) a special part in the wedding. She wants them to feel as if they are personally involved in the festivities, she wants them to feel special, but mostly, I think, she wants them to stay out of her hair on the Big Day!! Since she has graciously given the girls this opportunity, I agreed to buy their dresses and accessories as my contribution to the wedding expenses . . . LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!

Little Sis and I have spent the past few weeks scanning the globe, via the internet, for dresses for these girls. We have looked from Antarctica to Australia, North America to Asia, you name it, we have been there! Yes, we found several dresses, finding them wasn’t the problem . . . See paragraph 2! (Love you, Little Sis!)

We found dresses that were “too short,” “too white,” “too red,” “too puffy,” “not fancy enough,” we even found a dress that looked “too much like the inside of a coffin!” At one point she decided it might be easier to dress the girls up in a black garbage bag and tie a red ribbon around their waist, and I have to admit, that idea didn’t seem so bad!!

We finally had it narrowed down to three dresses, so I sent out a poll to all of my friends begging them to vote on their favorite dress in an effort to save my sanity and salvage the sisterly relationship! Then,Little Sis even started disguising her emails to me when she would send me MORE pictures of dresses to look at! Just the other day, after the poll results had been received, tallied, and reported, she sent me an email and in the subject line was “Re:Bathroom Humor” so I opened it up, laughed at the funny bathroom joke, then scrolled down to the bottom, you know the place you go when you are so nosy and you want to see where the email originated and how many continents it had crossed before making it to you . . . and there they were, TWO MORE PICTURES OF DRESSES!!!

So, to make a long story short, well I guess it’s too late for that now, but anyway, the dresses have been ordered! By the grace of God, the dresses HAVE BEEN ORDERED!!!!

I think next time someone else gets married, I’ll just buy them a blender!

What Lesson?

2007-04-18T12:08:00.000-07:00

I get to pick up Charming Child's Easter pictures today!! Yes, I know Easter was nearly two weeks ago, but if you knew what a feat it is for me to actually have the pictures TAKEN before Easter, you too would be proud of me. On that note, I'm doing quite well lately, because I actually had Christmas pictures taken before Christmas this year too!! Hooray for me!

So, let me explain . . . Each year I make plans to have holiday pictures taken at least for Easter and Christmas, but some years it is a little more difficult for me to actually accomplish this task before the holiday comes and goes. The best year was when I had Easter and Christmas pictures taken on the same day, in April, after both Easter and Christmas!! (Those of you that received these pictures, I guess I have just blown my cover! Well, I guess admittance is the first step . . .)

Before Charming Child's brother, let's just call him "Too Smart for His Own Britches", became all teenager-y and decided he was too cute to have pictures taken with his little sister, his Mom and I used to plan to take the children at least twice a year for pictures together. One year, you know the year of double pictures in one day, we just could not get our schedules to match to where we had time to get Christmas pictures, or Easter pictures, but then it happened . . . we finally had a free afternoon, so we marched both of the happy little children to the portrait studio and had their pictures taken! First in their Christmas clothes, hair in a headband for Charming Child; then, their Easter clothes, hair up in a bow! It worked out great, we were so proud of ourselves for coming up with this solution, although we promised it would be the last time we did this! The pictures turned out beautiful, with not one indication that they were taken on the same day, except that "Too Smart for His Own Britches" had the exact same haircut because he refused to let me shave it a bit so we could make sure everyone knew the pictures were taken on two separate occasions!!

To top it off, when I sent the pictures to Auntie in Egypt, I enclosed the following note:

Dear Auntie,

I am sending the Easter pictures and Christmas pictures of the kids. I am sorry the Christmas pictures are a few months late . . . apparently I put the wrong address on the envelope when I originally sent them and they were returned to me. I hope you enjoy them!

To which she replied by email, "Thank you so much for the pictures! Of course they are beautiful. I know that I can always count on you to make sure I have the latest pictures of the children."

I guess she got that right!!

So, as you can see, it is very exciting for me to know that I had Easter pictures TAKEN before Easter, minus the cranky teenager-y boy who just turned 18 and will probably never allow me to take him to have his picture taken with his sister again, which is why I cherish every picture I do have, late or not!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the way, for all of you that have been dreadfully worried about my lobsteresque burn, it has turned in to a nice tan with minimal peeling . . . so with that said, I am off to the tanning salon!

Oh, I'm sorry were you trying to say something? Speak up please, I didn't hear you.

Oh yes, I hear you now, but what lesson??

Have a great day!!

Damn Cat

2007-04-15T21:18:00.000-07:00

Charming Child has a cat, Keissa, who, up until today, has been living with a very not-so-nice, psychotic, narcissistic (need I say more?) individual. We were finally able to get an auntie to take Keissa so she could have a better home, as we are not able to have her because Tata (Grandma) has some serious allergy issues.

So, Charming Child and I drove Keissa to meet Auntie M today . . . We told Keissa the whole way there (while she was kitty screaming) what a great life she was going to have with Auntie M, and we would come visit her, blah, blah, blah (yes, we do think we are Dr. Dolittle, don't you have conversations with your pets?)

Charming Child rattles on to Auntie M all of the "rules" for Keissa, Auntie M listens patiently, I think, "Can't we find a Starbucks?", Keissa thinks, "Can I just go home so I can use the litter box?"

Finally, Charming Child says, "You know Auntie, since I haven't been to visit Keissa in awhile, and I'm sorry to say this bad word, but she might only answer to 'Damn Cat', so you might have to retrain her to answer to her real name."

It was then I knew, Keissa was on her way to a far better life . . . Thank You Auntie M, we love you!!

"Your life is just one big joke!"

2007-04-13T14:45:00.000-07:00

I probably shouldn't tell you this, I don't want you to think this is going to be some extraordinary, wonderful post, but this post has been almost three days in the making now . . . Ummm, I think lazy would be the word to describe why it has taken so long!

Sooooo, every year around the end of Winter, beginning of Spring, I decide to join a tanning salon so that I don't stick out like a sore thumb in my house full of beautiful, dark olive (is dark olive even a color?) skinned Egyptians . . . actually it doesn't have anything to do with sticking out or not, I just want to be tan, OKAY??!! (I learned that technique from Charming Child . . . whenever you want to make a bold statement, or a meaningless apology, always end your sentence with "OKAY??!!") Well, this year was no exception, I joined the tanning salon sometime in January and have been all of about three times since then . . . I think lazy would be the word to describe why I have only gone three times!

Rewind to Tuesday of this week . . . Charming Child and I get to the gym (no, not where I work out, remember, lazy, but where Charming Child does gymnastics three days a week) and I sit next to my friend who smells so good, like coconut tanning oil . . . you know the kind that if you close your eyes you can almost imagine yourself lying on a beach sipping (or gulping) margaritas . . . so I ask her, "Did you go tanning?" She says, "yes." I think, "No fair, how come she isn't as lazy as me??!!" I then tell myself that I am going to make a concerted effort to go tanning atleast once before the next time I see her (because I'll be damned if she's going to get darker than me, OKAY??!!)

On Wednesday, I am able to slip out of the house without Charming Child (well, I actually didn't have to do much slipping because she just flat out DID NOT want to go grocery shopping. Oh Darn!) So, I drive myself right on over to the tanning salon, listened to the ever so sweet girl at the desk tell me, "oh, we haven't seen you for awhile," and I think, "That's okay because I am going to make up for it today." I go to my room where I have one of those fancy, extra strength stand up beds with the little handles you hold on to and I hop on in . . . EIGHT minutes of pure silence, relaxation, and serious tanning . . . All is well!!

Grocery shopping. Put groceries away. Have a conversation with Charming child about why her reading homework is not finished. TAKE A SHOWER . . . and oh my goodness, not only do I stand out even more in my house full of beautiful, dark olive skinned Egyptians, I resemble the next meal at Red Lobster more than I do a human!!!!!!!

Painful? Uh, yes! Every part of my body aches and burns, even my armpits that have probably never seen sun in my whole life until that day, because remember, I had a fancy stand up bed with handles!!

I'm okay, I will survive, I will take Ibuprofen, I will have a glass of wine, I will survive . . . and then in a few days, I'll be all tan, maybe even darker than my friend, Little Miss Tanny Pants!

Well, I wasn't okay (it hurt like hell), I did survive (but barely), I did take Ibuprofen (didn't help), I did drink a glass of wine (didn't help, but it was good), I am surviving!!!!

So, backing up a bit, after the shower, I went in to say goodnight to Charming Child and I showed her my lobster stomach and legs, she laughed, a lot and very hard, she's cute that way!!

I said, "I am so mad at So and So's Mom." (Which I really wasn't, but it's always easier to blame someone else, right?"
Charming Child said, "Why?"
I replied, "because she came to gym all tan and smelling like coconut tanning oil and it made me want to go tanning and now I look like a lobster and I hurt, while Little Miss Tanny Pants gets to be all cute!"
To which Charming Child replies, while laughing hysterically, "You're life is just one big joke!"

"My life is a big joke?"

"Yes, because you're funny, like a big joke."

"Umm okay, well goodnight, I love you!"

Note to Self:

Dear Self,

While I appreciate the compliment that my life is one big joke, I must explain to Charming Child that others may not be as appreciative at the same compliment.

Sincerely,
Self

Just Released

2007-04-06T13:09:00.000-07:00

Attention all Parents:

Are you tired of repeating the same things over and over and over again to your children? Are you tired of sounding like a broken record at the expense of your sanity? Well, I am, which is why I have recorded my two most popular speeches . . . Now, for a limited time offer, you can receive my two most popular speeches, "I Don't Know Why People Are Mean" and "Nobody Ever Said Life Is Fair" on compact disc, or audio cassette (for those of you who have a cd player that eats cd's and no one to fix it!) for the low introductory price of $19.99 plus shipping and handling.

Each recording consists of the same speech repeated TEN times, with five minute intervals in between each recording, to allow time for your child to interject all of the reasons why nothing he/she is hearing makes sense!!!!!!!

Order now, supplies are limited.

All proceeds from this sale will be donated to my therapist!

The Simplicity of a Child

2007-04-04T14:50:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when you run out of radio signals while travelling: a)stop and have satellite radio installed, or b)

Me: Okay, you are in charge of reading the directions. So, we're on I80, what do we do next?
Charming Child: We're on I80, okay let me see, Margie CA 37 to San Rafael.
Me: Margie CA 37?
Charming Child: Yep, that's what I've got here !
Me: Does it say what she looks like?
Charming Child: Let me see . . . NO.
Me: Does it say what do do when we find her?
Charming Child: No.
Me: How are we supposed to know when we've found her?
Charming Child: Found who?
Me: Margie.
Charming Child: Let me look again . . . Mergie CA 37 to San Rafael.
Me: Mergie?
Charming Child: Yep.
Me: (Needing to know what to do as CA 37 is mere miles away, and therefore cannot continue to play this little game) I think it says Merge.
Charming Child: Does M-E-R-G-E spell merge?
Me: Yes
Charming Child: Okay, then merge CA 37 to San Rafael. What does merge mean?
Me: It means to get over
Charming Child: Well, why don't they just put 'get over'?

Note to Mapquest:

Dear Mapquest,

When writing driving directions for trips over 100 miles, whereas you know that it is likely the vehicle will travel out of radio signal range for any recognizable stations and my dad won't fix the cd player because he says he doesn't know how, please use words that a child can understand so the parents can use your directions as a way of entertaining the children.
Thank you for your consideration of this matter.

Sincerely,
Charming Child

Maybe you should check the freezer!

2007-04-03T12:17:00.000-07:00

As my dear friend and I finally gave our charming children permission to be excused from the table so that they could grace the entire restaurant with their singing and dancing talents (thus causing the restaurant patrons to lose their appetites and their nerves, I'm sure) we continued to savor every last bite of our buritto bowls from Chipotle, for fear that we may only be able to visit this establishment three times this particular week. My dear friend began to tell me about a workshop she had recently attended. (Within these parentheses is supposed to contain all of the exciting and pertinent information regarding this workshop, however, I don't remember any of it (sorry dear friend) so rather than make it up in an attempt to display my intelligence, I'll just skip ahead to the part that pertains to this post. End parentheses.)

As I was saying . . . Dear friend told me that she had been told that the way to rid yourself of irritations in your life, be it people or behaviors, is to write the particular irritation on a piece of paper and stick it in the freezer . . . Wait, just stick with me, I don't want to hear your excuses for exiting from this post, and besides, Gilmore Girls is a re-run tonight, but nice try!

Well, what a great idea! Why hadn't I thought of that? Dear friend had a few case studies to back up this claim, and everything! So guess what I did? Yes indeed, I took my 'happy- little- about -to- get -rid -of -irritations- self ' home and put my two biggest irritations in the freezer. (By the way, if you're wondering, which I am sure that you are, my irritations were people, but I can't tell you who, unless of course I already did.)

So fast forward to the next day, when out of the blue, after months of no contact, who should call . . . Yes, BIGGEST IRRITATION #1!!!!!

Me: Hello, dear friend, I put the names in the freezer lastnight.
Dear Friend: Oh, that's great.
Me: only, guess who called today, out of the blue, after months of no contact?
Dear Friend: No, you're kidding
Me: Uh, no I am not!
Dear Friend: (Who always has a positive answer to everything) Well, (this person) hadn't been thought of for months, so just give (this person) a chance to really freeze, maybe it will take a few days.

Okay, only I don't have a few days because I want to rid myself of this irritation NOW!!! So, being the elementary school teacher that I am, I decide that I am going to go downstairs, reach my hand up into the out of commission ice maker that I threw the pieces of paper in, retreive the pieces of paper, dip them in water, then toss them back into the out of commission ice maker, because, after all, wet paper will probably freeze more quickly than dry paper!!! (Yes, I do Science tutoring on the side.)

SUCCESS, SUCCESS, SUCCESS . . . wet paper really does freeze faster than dry paper because I have not heard from Irritation # 1 since!!!! And on a side note, contact between Irritation #2 became less and less frequent shortly thereafter as well, and is now nonexistent!

So, I have already told you that Gilmore Girls is a rerun tonight (and if you believed me, you are really gullible, because I really don't know if it is or not, I just set my DVR to record and find out later) so you have some extra time . . . put your irritations in the freezer and in a few days, let me know if you also had SUCCESS!

P.S. Just in case you were wondering . . . when I said I took my 'happy-little-about-to-get-rid-of-irritations-self' home, I did indeed also take my charming child home, although I forgot to mention that, so I thought I would clarify because I don't want CPS after me, as that could ruin my career!

Best of Luck!

Note to Self:

2007-04-02T21:31:00.000-07:00

Self,

Even though your 'mouse-operating' arm is sore from excessive computer usage and you are afraid you will crumble to the ground in excruciating pain should you try to lift your arm (or turn the pages on your final Shopaholic book) it is not wise to wash down your muscle relaxer with a glass of wine (or two). Please make a note for future reference.

Sincerely,

Self

Math My Way

2007-04-02T20:38:00.000-07:00

I know this is very profound for my first post, but I can't help it . . . this is dedicated to all of my teacher friends and fellow Geometry buffs, and anyone else who finds this to be funny (or, is it just me?)